What can I say? My life is a constant soap opera with me as the leading lady and I suppose I wouldn’t have it any other way! Since my last blog I have been a busy beaver. Easter weekend began with me popping in to retrieve some belongings from the faker. We had a lovely chat and whilst we still like each other a lot we need to take a step back and get to know each other a little better. I have always enjoyed his company and hope that if nothing else we will maintain some sort of friendship. However, the ball is in his court there and no amount of prodding or poking from me will change the situation if ‘he’s just not into me’.
So after having coffee with him I said goodbye and headed over to Napoleon’s for a pizza and dvd night. For those that remember, I met Napoleon in February. We had brunch and his gut told him we wouldn’t be good together but his dick told him he wanted to fuck me. So I basically told him to maybe get both organs to talk to his brain and then get back to me. After the previous weekend where I found that the faker had never removed his profiles from the dating sites I put mine back up and Napoleon was one of the first to contact me. We texted back and forth and we agreed that we could maybe be friends. I only agreed to the movie night if there were only war movies. I did not want some sucky chick flick and figured an army guy would have a plethora of good warries to watch. When I got to his place I internally pissed myself laughing. I had him pegged as Napoleon because he had cabinets of regiments of little men because he does war gaming. Anyway, I had a few drinks as he doesn’t and we did pizza and the dvd. As we are just friends (as far as i am concerned anyway, so if he had other plans they were going nowhere!) I crashed out in my underwear and left in the morning. We haven’t spoken since and I don’t care one way or the other.
I was pretty tired on saturday and after heading to the shops I decided a snooze in front of the tv was in order. I then received a text and a long, interesting call from Viking. In the midst of this call I suggested that we may as well have drinks it being a saturday and all. As he lives relatively close I gave him my address and was promptly ready for him to pick up at 8. We went up to Polit, which is a funky little bar in Manuka. There we imbibed espresso martinis and continued our talk. It came to light that we share the same birth date except he was born in the southern hemisphere and me in the northern. Thus he is about half a day older than me. I have to say, I found him VERY CUTE! We came back to mine whereby we got into a little more grey goose and he crashed here. However, nothing too untoward happened. You may probably be wondering if I am losing my touch. HA not likely! He got to see me and cuddle me and then go home and wonder about me. On sunday he returned to repair my aged laptop and gave me some really good speakers. We watched some dvds and had pizza and drinks and he got to cuddle and kiss me and as he was working in the morning he left before bedtime. I like him and think he must be an incredibly intelligent, fun, sexy person as he shares my birth date and must be a lot like me lol! It would be nice to catch up again but I am not chasing anyone to spend time with me. If he wants to see me he will ask and if not, hey I got some great speakers for my tunes.
Monday afternoon I got to do my sunday sesh at TnG with the lawyer. He contacted me online and after a bit of chat asked to see me for drinks. As I didn’t have any pressing plans I thought ‘what the hell?!’. I turned up and as I was ordering a sav blanc he found me at the bar. He was quite fit looking and I thought, ‘hello!’ We sat and talked law amongst other things and then adjourned to a restaurant to continue our conversation. Things seemed to be going quite well. After several savs we took a taxi back to his. I have to admit my halo slipped. I was primed by my time with the Viking if truth be told. So, I had to go through the ‘got laid parade’ when I got home in the morning as FredAstaire and his staff were already into their workday. The lawyer and I had agreed to catch up again sometime so I was feeling quite contented.
Throughout the week the VIking and I exchanged texts but no real future plans. The lawyer sent me a ‘War and Peace’ text explaining that he couldn’t see me because he had already had a couple of dates with someone else and whilst I was a great chick he couldn’t date more than one at a time. Totes whatevs! I asked him why he even bothered to meet me in the first place if this was the case. It was really a moot point anyway and I really didn’t care that much. He is a dick! He hasn’t even had the ‘exclusivity’ talk with the other chick yet. All I can say is ‘good luck with that mate!’. Anyway, I got what I wanted out of him and am not particularly bothered that there will be no date 2.
With all this going on I got some mail and texts from the shellback. Now I use this term as a term of endearment as anyone who has been in the services knows what I am talking about here. We met for breakfast on thursday and really got on like a house on fire He is my age and is obviously another public servant and like me has been in defence. We exchanged numbers and I left hoping we would see each other again soon. He texted me and invited me out for coffee on ANZAC Day. So we spent several hours together drinking coffee (which progressed to wine) and shooting the shit about all sorts of stuff. We have a lot in common not only being in defence but working in the Middle East and our attitudes to lots of stuff are similar. End of meeting number 2 not even a handshake or kiss between us! Definitely not the Jojogrrl’s usual behaviour!
On saturday I was supposed to work but got cancelled so I had a day to fill. I did some shopping and visited friends then was going home for a nap before heading out to Academy at 2330. Anyway, he asked me over for a drink and I decided to go but I hedged my bets and dressed to go out. When I got there we were going to watch a movie but got talking and drinking and then I was a bit too pissed to drive so I ended up crashing there in my underwear and a borrowed tshirt next to him and guess what peeps? NOTHING HAPPENED! Whilst I was there the Viking texted to see where I was at but I was busy and to be fair you cannot expect to ask for a date the very night you want it without putting in any ground work first.
I left there and went home feeling very rested and happy. He’s a great guy. I won’t be seeing him for a bit as he is away for a couple of weeks but he texted and said he wanted to catch up on his return. I hope to hear about his travels over a wine in a few weeks.
These men that I have met recently are all quite interesting to me. I like them for a variety of reasons and I like them all for different reasons. I am nowhere near infatuation or love but there is like. I could see myself spending time with any of them as they are all great guys. However, I suppose that whilst I am open to dating them they have to want me. They have to want to be with me and get to know me and to also take the good with the bad. That is a big ask. I know that. However, actions speak louder than words. So, if I text them and get no reply or I ask them out and get knocked back repeatedly or no reply then I guess all I can take from that is that ‘he’s just not into you’ and I should just move on.
The lessons I have learned the hard way doing this now since about July last year is that –
1.You cannot seem too eager to spend time with someone.
2.You cannot call or text or email unsolicited as a woman as guys think they are being hunted (which to be fair in some cases they are).
3.You cannot go exclusive too soon in the piece. As I put it its like putting all my scrambled eggs in one basket case.
4. Men are quite hypocritical creatures. Whilst a lot of them are trying to get into your knickers as early on as possible, if you give in they will give you the push. Basically it comes down to what Groucho Marx said ‘I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.’ They like the idea of getting some and indeed feel quite lucky when they do but will despise you for giving it to them before they have had to embark on a quest through the Andes to pick up a small purple flower in full bloom for you.
5. You cannot care too soon as to whether you seen them or not. If you do, you will potentially try and be too accommodating or nice and then you are not being yourself and they will go off you.
See, the evolution of this worm who has turned. I am taking in the hard lessons that are being dished out. I am still trying to be me but I think that I am now a little more guarded and a little less trusting. Is this a bad thing? I don’t know. I don’t want to not be me but I don’t want to be left constantly questioning why I can’t seem to meet someone.
Us singles are all in the same boat. I don’t doubt there are several men out there probably saying the exact same things as I am saying. However, I am getting stronger. I am not so hurt by the criticism or the gutless way most guys cut comms with you. I am a great chick and it is them and it’s their issues and ultimately THEY lose ME. So, dear reader, I can honestly say I have enjoyed my downtime this month and hope to continue it next month with some or all of these guys. However, if it transpires that I don’t get to see them again then my second favourite word will just have to suffice. Altogether now, 1,2,3 NEXT!
Until next time, stay safe