Monthly Archives: April 2014

A feast or a famine!

Evening funstas!

What can I say?  My life is a constant soap opera with me as the leading lady and I suppose I wouldn’t have it any other way! Since my last blog I have been a busy beaver.  Easter weekend began with me popping in to retrieve some belongings from the faker. We had a lovely chat and whilst we still like each other a lot we need to take a step back and get to know each other a little better.  I have always enjoyed his company and hope that if nothing else we will maintain some sort of friendship.  However, the ball is in his court there and no amount of prodding or poking from me will change the situation if ‘he’s just not into me’. 

So after having coffee with him I said goodbye and headed over to Napoleon’s for a pizza and dvd night.  For those that remember, I met Napoleon in February.  We had brunch and his gut told him we wouldn’t be good together but his dick told him he wanted to fuck me. So I basically told him to maybe get both organs to talk to his brain and then get back to me. After the previous weekend where I found that the faker had never removed his profiles from the dating sites I put mine back up and Napoleon was one of the first to contact me.  We texted back and forth and we agreed that we could maybe be friends. I only agreed to the movie night if there were only war movies. I did not want some sucky chick flick and figured an army guy would have a plethora of good warries to watch. When I got to his place I internally pissed myself laughing.  I had him pegged as Napoleon because he had cabinets of regiments of little men because he does war gaming.  Anyway, I had a few drinks as he doesn’t and we did pizza and the dvd. As we are just friends (as far as i am concerned anyway, so if he had other plans they were going nowhere!) I crashed out in my underwear and left in the morning.  We haven’t spoken since and I don’t care one way or the other.

I was pretty tired on saturday and after heading to the shops I decided a snooze in front of the tv was in order. I then received a text and a long, interesting call from Viking.  In the midst of this call I suggested that we may as well have drinks it being a saturday and all.  As he lives relatively close I gave him my address and was promptly ready for him to pick up at 8.  We went up to Polit, which is a funky little bar in Manuka.  There we imbibed espresso martinis and continued our talk. It came to light that we share the same birth date except he was born in the southern hemisphere and me in the northern. Thus he is about half a day older than me.  I have to say, I found him VERY CUTE!  We came back to mine whereby we got into a little more grey goose and he crashed here.  However, nothing too untoward happened.  You may probably be wondering if I am losing my touch.  HA not likely!  He got to see me and cuddle me and then go home and wonder about me.  On sunday he returned to repair my aged laptop and gave me some really good speakers. We watched some dvds and had pizza and drinks and he got to cuddle and kiss me and as he was working in the morning he left before bedtime.  I like him and think he must be an incredibly intelligent, fun, sexy person as he shares my birth date and must be a lot like me lol!  It would be nice to catch up again but I am not chasing anyone to spend time with me.  If he wants to see me he will ask and if not, hey I got some great speakers for my tunes.

Monday afternoon I got to do my sunday sesh at TnG with the lawyer.  He contacted me online and after a bit of chat asked to see me for drinks.  As I didn’t have any pressing plans I thought ‘what the hell?!’.  I turned up and as I was ordering a sav blanc he found me at the bar. He was quite fit looking and I thought, ‘hello!’  We sat and talked law amongst other things and then adjourned to a restaurant to continue our conversation. Things seemed to be going quite well.  After several savs we took a taxi back to his.  I have to admit my halo slipped. I was primed by my time with the Viking if truth be told.  So, I had to go through the ‘got laid parade’ when I got home in the morning as FredAstaire and his staff were already into their workday.  The lawyer and I had agreed to catch up again sometime so I was feeling quite contented.

Throughout the week the VIking and I exchanged texts but no real future plans.  The lawyer sent me a ‘War and Peace’ text explaining that he couldn’t see me because he had already had a couple of dates with someone else and whilst I was a great chick he couldn’t date more than one at a time. Totes whatevs! I asked him why he even bothered to meet me in the first place if this was the case. It was really a moot point anyway and I really didn’t care that much. He is a dick!  He hasn’t even had the ‘exclusivity’ talk with the other chick yet. All I can say is ‘good luck with that mate!’. Anyway, I got what I wanted out of him and am not particularly bothered that there will be no date 2.

With all this going on  I got some mail and texts from the shellback.  Now I use this term as a term of endearment as anyone who has been in the services knows what I am talking about here.  We met for breakfast on thursday and really got on like a house on fire He is my age and is obviously another public servant and like me has been in defence.  We exchanged numbers and I left hoping we would see each other again soon.  He texted me and invited me out for coffee on ANZAC Day.  So we spent several hours together drinking coffee (which progressed to wine) and shooting the shit about all sorts of stuff. We have a lot in common not only being in defence but working in the Middle East and our attitudes to lots of stuff are similar.  End of meeting number 2 not even a handshake or kiss between us! Definitely not the Jojogrrl’s usual behaviour! 

On saturday I was supposed to work but got cancelled so I had a day to fill.  I did some shopping and visited friends then was going home for a nap before heading out to Academy at 2330.  Anyway, he asked me over for a drink and I decided to go but I hedged my bets and dressed to go out.  When I got there we were going to watch a movie but got talking and drinking and then I was a bit too pissed to drive so I ended up crashing there in my underwear and a borrowed tshirt next to him and guess what peeps?  NOTHING HAPPENED!  Whilst I was there the Viking texted to see where I was at but I was busy and to be fair you cannot expect to ask for a date the very night you want it without putting in any ground work first.

I left there and went home feeling very rested and happy. He’s a great guy. I won’t be seeing him for a bit as he is away for a couple of weeks but he texted and said he wanted to catch up on his return.  I hope to hear about his travels over a wine in a few weeks. 

These men that I have met recently are all quite interesting to me.  I like them for a variety of reasons and I like them all for different reasons.  I am nowhere near infatuation or love but there is like.  I could see myself spending time with any of them as they are all great guys.  However, I suppose that whilst I am open to dating them they have to want me. They have to want to be with me and get to know me and to also take the good with the bad. That is a big ask. I know that.  However, actions speak louder than words. So, if I text them and get no reply or I ask them out and get knocked back repeatedly or no reply then I guess all I can take from that is that ‘he’s just not into you’ and I should just move on.

The lessons I have learned the hard way doing this now since about July last year is that –

1.You cannot seem too eager to spend time with someone.

2.You cannot call or text or email unsolicited as a woman as guys think they are being hunted (which to be fair in some cases they are).

3.You cannot go exclusive too soon in the piece. As I put it its like putting all my scrambled eggs in one basket case.

4. Men are quite hypocritical creatures.  Whilst a lot of them are trying to get into your knickers as early on as possible, if you give in they will give you the push.  Basically it comes down to what Groucho Marx said ‘I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.’  They like the idea of getting some and indeed feel quite lucky when they do but will despise you for giving it to them before they have had to embark on a quest through the Andes to pick up a small purple flower in full bloom for you.

5. You cannot care too soon as to whether you seen them or not. If you do, you will potentially try and be too accommodating or nice and then you are not being yourself and they will go off you.

See, the evolution of this worm who has turned.  I am taking in the hard lessons that are being dished out. I am still trying to be me but I think that I am now a little more guarded and a little less trusting.  Is this a bad thing?  I don’t know.  I don’t want to not be me but I don’t want to be left constantly questioning why I can’t seem to meet someone.

Us singles are all in the same boat.  I don’t doubt there are several men out there probably saying the exact same things as I am saying.  However, I am getting stronger. I am not so hurt by the criticism or the gutless way most guys cut comms with you.  I am a great chick and it is them and it’s their issues and ultimately THEY lose ME.  So, dear reader, I can honestly say I have enjoyed my downtime this month and hope to continue it next month with some or all of these guys. However, if it transpires that I don’t get to see them again then my second favourite word will just have to suffice. Altogether now, 1,2,3 NEXT!

Until next time, stay safe

The Jojogrrl

 

The worm has turned…

Tonight’s blogspot is brought to you by the letters FK and U!

So, funsters I am back after my short hiatus.  Oh, dear! Obviously it has hit the skids.  So soon? I must hold some sort of record though to be honest most men get to between weeks 4 and 6 then hit the speed wobbles.  I met the faker just after my birthday and even mentioned him in my last post.  We seemed to be on the same page and seemed to have fun. However, there was one big issue that loomed above our happiness.  Is it a mad ex wife? Is he a fugitive from justice?  Was this an episode of the Crying Game and he was really a woman? None of the above. The difficulty was he had some what should be temporary health problems which meant that our friendship could not progress shall we say.  I did not mind this.  In fact it was refreshing (and occasionally frustrating) to be with a man that did not want to get into my knickers at the earliest possible opportunity and so, I let my guard down.

I started to like him. I missed his company when he wasn’t around. I enjoyed just hanging out and talking to him and doing stuff like movies and drinks and just watching dvds.  This was like being in a normal relationship.  However, as I know in my life all good things get trampled and come to an end and I end up on my own scratching my head wondering what the fuck happened?  It pretty much started after we went out last weekend. He got a text whilst we were out and then hid it from me. I saw it was someone wanting to meet.  He came back to mine but left to Skype his family which I thought was odd. He said he would come back but then didn’t which was very strange as his power had been cut off at his apartment so you would think he would rather sleep next to me and have a hot shower and coffee in the morning.

The next day I sent a couple of texts and called and he didn’t respond. I got a bit of a response on tuesday, nothing wednesday and then a call on thursday which seemed like everything was ok.  We were supposed to see each other on friday but due to the cyclone his plane was delayed and was going to be really late. He said he would let me know when he came in and then we could do breakfast on saturday as I was working.  I didn’t get a text or a call or anything and went to work on saturday afternoon.  He then posts on fb that he only woke up at 230pm and obviously his plans were cancelled for the day. I liked that on fb and did I get an apology or anything?  NO!  I tried to get hold of him – nothing he was not answering his calls.  Seemed very strange to me as he is glued to his phone normally.

On sunday I went to brunch with a friend and had my shift cancelled. I texted him and rang and got no reply.  I then did some digging and found that all along whilst with me he had been on at least two dating sites!  I even sent him a kiss on one of them so he knows I know. So, all the times I can’t get hold of him I assume he was probably with someone else!  I realise that we are not in love but I liked him and began to place trust in him. He is probably the first person I have placed trust with for a very long time.  He was not the usual type of guy that I have dated because my therapist said I should try different types as obviously the type I go for isn’t working. My deduction now is that if my usual type is crap and other types are crap then they all must be crap and I should not expend my emotions on them

I tried contacting him and eventually sent a text asking him if he wanted me to collect my stuff?  I received no reply to anything!  I went to work today and when I got home I found a text from him dumping me!  He couldn’t even do the right thing and talk to me in an honest way.  I am sick to death of cowards dumping me by text!  I have no idea what I did this time around because we have not talked. 

This is another opportunity to learn.  If you burn your hand in the fire, you don’t place your hand there again. I keep getting burned by men because I want to be with someone who wants to be with me.  I have to stop thinking this way.  I have now got to realise that no one wants to be with me and as such I will not get burned because I know from the outset that nothing is forever. Now I have managed to get my head around that I am starting to kill off all hope of ever meeting someone.  This in itself is freeing because I know that all guys want are friends with benefits. So, if I sleep with anyone its because I want sex, not love.  Love exists amongst family and true friends it does not exist in the dating world.  Coming to this conclusion will help me cut across the bullshit that gets sent my way.  The bare facts are all men are looking for an unpaid whore and housekeeper and I don’t want to be either.  As I said to one once ‘fucking and cooking are two Chinese cities I won’t necessarily visit with you!’

I think this worm has finally turned. I think I am going to start dishing out the same behaviour that I receive from men.  Maybe I will answer my messages, maybe I won’t?  Maybe I will date you but shag someone else? Maybe it’s time to not give a fuck to get a fuck? I swear that this time is the last time I will care about anyone else. I am going to be selfish now and do what I want. Whatever makes me feel great and fuck anyone else’s feelings. I am SO ANGRY at being dumped AGAIN by text! This is the last time that is ever happening because I am going to be the one to do it in future. I will cut someone off in an instant if I get one hint of fuckwittery
So, maybe this will be another turning point in the long and winding road that is my life.
Until next time dear readers, stay safe
The Jojogrrl

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