Tonight’s paragraph is brought to you by the letter F for F$8#, I think I dated my dad!
As this year draws to a close, I have dated a wide variety of men. There are some whom I remain in contact with as their company is interesting. I do not chronicle everything, however, I did have a HUGE AHA moment last week.
I had a particularly busy and interesting shift on Friday afternoon and had made plans to have a quick drink with a guy who had been trying to catch up with me for several months. It was on then off then off then on and anyway in the end I said I could probably catch a drink after work as I had plans for the rest of the weekend. I raced home and chucked the LBD on, brushed my plait out and heading to the HELLenic (HELL being the operative word). The Hellenic is not a place that I would frequent. It is mainly an older crowd and yes I realise that I am not 25 but I am not in my grave either! Rock n Roll from the 50s is not my bag man! So, I rock up and Country guy meets me at the door. He is very attractive, owns his own business and seems relatively interesting. We sit down for a drink and a chat. He is divorced with two small children. He then goes into a bitter, choked up rant about how his ex wife cheated on him and proceeds to batter my aural cavity with how life was so unfair. He is a great provider, owns his own home, has multiple cars etc.
He then says that she is keeping the children from him as she took a DVO (Domestic Violence Order) out on him and he can only collect the kids in a public place and (in his words) “Fuck her! I am not letting her win!” I asked him if he wanted to see his kids and he said he did so I replied that there was no winning in this situation and that he should suck it up for the sake of the kids. I think this went down like a fart in a wetsuit. He had a real love of Country and Western music which is probably the one type that if I had to say I detested a genre it would be up there with yodeling. He expressed the opinion that my taste in music was crap as it was doof doof music. I asked him if he had listened to different types and he said he knew what he liked and stuck to it. I then asked him how all this was working for him which he did not like at all. He wanted me to validate all his stuff and giving etc whereas possessions do not mean a great deal to me. Yes, it’s nice to own a car or house but experiencing life is more important I think. He thought I had wasted my life traveling and he had built assets and not been anywhere. He then pointed out that the ex was taking a lot of this so he felt bitter that he should have traveled so she didn’t get everything.
It was at this point that I went OMFG, I am dating my old man! This phenomenon has never in the history of me dating ever occurred. It was like I could see what my mother put up with. I could see the anger and the bitterness that my dad had for her on the face of this guy. When I tried to talk to him about how all this was affecting the kids as I personally endured all of this in my younger years, he told me that I know nothing as I don’t have kids. I know what it’s like to be a child growing up with an incredibly angry, bitter father who to this day remains angry and bitter to the point of isolating his children from himself. I told him that if he didn’t build a relationship with his children now he wouldn’t have one in the future citing my own non relationship with my father as a case in point.
We then had another drink when he caught sight of someone he particularly hated. He was going to have a fight. So, we had to leave to prevent this. All of this was a bit much and I ended the night in bed by 1am. This one will go in the file marked (all together, one, two, three – NEXT!)
I traveled inland to visit Matilda and LG in their new home. It was a lovely three hour trip and I had the sunroof down blasting my doof doof tunes to the sky. Matilda is going through a particularly hard time at the moment and as a close friend I wanted to be there for her. They say you can pick your friends but not your family and this is true. I am terribly upset for her situation. Not just the surface that everyone can see but the underlying issues that are plaguing her at the moment. I hope as a true friend I helped even if it was a little. LG’s mum was also there and we all had a ball at the local markets. I bought some fabulous doofing gear which I cannot wait to try out for Regrowth next year.
This weekend was a real eyeopener for me. Was I like that date awhile ago? Did I bore people to death with the litany of wrongs done to me (no, don’t answer that lol!)? My father, was and still is this man after so many years and neither of these two people seem to feel that they need help or have a problem. It was such an interesting experience seeing it from this side. I don’t have to wonder what my stepmonster felt every time my father brought up stuff about my mother as I have experienced this. It was funny because I actually felt sorry for the wife. I could see why she ran a mile because I intended to do the same. I also thought a lot about my close friends and family. I sometimes feel quite removed from people and am not confident in how people feel about me, so I become standoffish. Why do I do that? Mainly as a protection mechanism. If I don’t care you can’t hurt me. Life is a series of bumps, cuts, burns and bruises. I still do not have the answers for myself but I am trying so very hard to find out. All I know is that there are a small posse of people in this world that mean a great deal to me and regardless of time or distance whenever they need me I know I will do my very best to be there as they are what makes my life so much better.
This journey has taken some very unexpected roads so far. Who knows where it will lead me next. All I know is that I am not going to give up until I find the happiness I want to share with someone very special. I will not settle for someone who is just ok. So, if that means 57 cats await me then I had better start saving for the vet bills.
Until next time, stay safe