I am debating the issue of how open I can or should be regarding the blog with prospective candidates for the role of significant other in my life? On the one hand I have people advising not to tell a guy anything about it, especially if they happen to feature but on the other hand is this dishonest? If I got involved with someone and didn’t tell them would they see this as a breach of privacy? If I am not upfront about it when would be a good time to casually drop into a conversation “Oh by the way, I blog all my dating adventures and you now feature in a blog that is read by a bunch of people on the worldwide web?” I bet that would probably go down like a cold bucket of sick as most guys freak at the thought of being immortalised here. An example of this is the German. I told him about the blog and he threatened me with legal action! He had never even read any of it because if he had he would have realised that I am pretty good at de-identifying people (though if you live in Canberra and want to email me if any of these guys sound familiar I may just let you know).
So, with this in mind I do tell the prospective dates that I blog my life but not everything goes into the blog. I do tell them that it is mainly the disasters so don’t be a disaster lol! As you know from the last post I had a very memorable first date. This guy who I will not call the poisoner because he is rather nice so shall be known as the Quirky guy knows all about the blog and knows our date has been immortalised for prosperity. Some guys might be intimidated by this but he apparently is not. So, some guys might not like to know exactly what I think about them or a situation but it could work in their favour if they are actually interested in me it gives them an insight into my mind. Sometimes it is easier to share my thoughts on the web then with an actual person.
My mother and some of my girlfriends think this honesty would be intimidating and off putting to a guy especially when I drop the blog into conversation on the first or second meeting. However, as far as relationship deal breakers I think this is by far quite innocent. Some people, for instance neglect to tell you they have children! Mmm I think this is more of an issue then whether or not I write about a disastrous coffee date. Some people also neglect to tell you that they haven’t had a relationship in a decade or have a foot fetish or are looking for a maid. I think these are bigger crimes! My forthrightness and honesty should be looked upon as positives. I am a live wire. I like to party. I like clubs, loud music, travel. I am a loud person which can be terrifying to the mice! I am not going to apologise for the way I am or lull people into a false sense of security by behaving in a manner that is not me in order to capture someone’s attention. As far as I am concerned this is me, if you don’t like it or accept it then you are missing out and I am not the one for you. This has led to a long, sometimes lonely path but it also leads to fun and adventure.
An example of me being myself is that I was supposed to catch up with the engineer for a movie on Saturday. We arranged to meet at 12 and by 1210 I had no text from him and he wasn’t there so I sent him a text and said that I had better things to do with my time then wait for him and catch him next time. You would think after dating me for six months he would have figured out that punctuality is important to me. By being late and not contacting me you are being disrespectful of my time. The old Jojogrrl would have waited but not now. Between working and dating half of Canberra, I am a busy girl lol! This dating thing is like a second job only the pay sucks lol! He eventually managed to catch up with me at the shopping centre for a coffee as I had to buy food for my second date with the quirky guy.
As I am by no means a masterchef, I find cooking for an audience quite terrifying. I know in the back of my mind that if I really fuck it up there’s always pizza but still, I am a perfectionist and when I get it into my head to do something I must do it well or spend years in therapy! The menu for my date was roast pork belly stuffed with apricots and hazelnuts and veg followed by triple chocolate brownies and caramel peanut brittle icecream. When my date appeared we opened some wine whilst I cooked and we talked. He does read the blog and is in two minds about being in here. I don’t want to scare anyone off with the blog but it is here for my therapy. When I write I reflect on situations as well as entertaining you. The meal was not a romantic dinner for two as FredAstaire also joined us before heading out to trip the light fantastic.
What do I do now? The genie is out of the bottle. Quirky guy knows about my blog and so do others as most guys I meet here in Canberra seem to be in IT and obviously spend a great deal of time surfing the web reading all sorts of crap. If they like me, they like me. If they want to be with me, they will just have to trust me that I won’t write anything (even if we don’t last) that is too cruel. The man who wins me can’t be a mouse, must be secure in himself and be cool with me as the whole package. If this is the case they will get more than they ever expected in return.
On that note, I am off like a bride’s nightie. This weekend promises to be huge as Matilda (and her lovely man) and I are off to Dragon Dreaming! It is a huge music festival http://www.dragondreaming.net for three days of partying are arses off! If it’s anything like Easter there will be lots of dreadlocked people and dogs and families and all manner of things to keep me amused.
Until then, be cool!