Can you believe it we had ANOTHER long weekend this month! We can go months and months without one and then have two in one month. It is playing havoc with my roster! This weekend one of my oldest and bestest friends, Matilda came to visit from interstate. Matilda is like a younger sister though I sometimes wonder who is the corrupter and the corruptee (is that a word) in this friendship? All I know is that we catch up every couple of months and it takes me all the time in between for my internal organs to recuperate.
She turned up after work on friday night and we made short work of some bubbles, pate, cheese and antipasto whilst gossiping about life, the universe and everything. She, unlike myself is in a decent, long term relationship with someone who is fabulously nonconformist. They are fantastic together and I am happy that she has found a relationship that brings so much to her life. I, on the other hand got to regale her with the back story to the interesting people I have met. The blog is my way of working things out, however, dear readers not everything gets here. Why? What am I holding back? Well, there are the not so interesting scenarios that as I was bored or annoyed, I am nice enough not to pass this on to you. Or, maybe I haven’t processed something yet, or maybe there are just some things better left unsaid? One of my favourite sayings is ‘Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening’ and therefore I leave it to your imagination to guess which of these things are a feature (if any) on any given week.
Anyway, after a bit of a late night we crashed out determined to go shopping with gusto the next day (this is a girly weekend after all). We made some ‘investment’ purchases on our shopping trip. In one particular shop (oh all right then it was Bras N Things), the assistant had little ears on and a blackened nose. Matilda inquired as to why this was so and was told as a promotion the shop assistants in the main shopping centres had to come dressed as something starting as the suburb e.g. witches in woden. She said that as this was Civic she had come as a cat. There was only Matilda, myself, the shop assistant, some chick and a bored looking guy in the shop. Quick as a flash before thinking I said, one of my ex boyfriends got dressed for a ‘C’ party once, he came as a C&^%! Well, Matilda pissed herself laughing, the shop assistant’s jaw dropped to the floor before she started and the bored guy actually stopped texting and looked up with a grin on his face. Only the chick looked unamused but then again if I looked like her I would too. We then headed for home for a disco nap prior to organising ourselves for our big night out. She has beautiful long, rich brown hair with red highlights and I am the stereotypical busty blonde so, how much trouble could we get in?
We zoomed in the Jojomobile to Kremlin for the beginning of a bit of a cocktail binge. We commenced the proceedings with my favourite the espresso martini with cognac. After listening to jazz and imbibing the nectar of the Gods we walked all the way to TnG only to find a $15 cover charge for some lame RnB act. Wtf? Nothing in this town is worth that princely sum, so we headed to Moose whereby another of my online friends said he would catch up. We were drinking more cocktails. It was a blur of colours and all I can say if I had chucked it would have been like a rainbow lol! My online friend turned up and he was quite attractive. I was slightly taller in my heels. He was really sweet, however, it was interesting talking to a guy with body dysmorphia. He honestly had nothing to worry about but apparently he had lost an awful lot of weight and he has very little confidence despite being really nice looking now. It was quite an eye opener to be on the other side of this issue. Society is so used to women being self conscious and worried about their looks that I really didn’t know how to deal with this one. After awhile he left and we went downstairs.
Being the shiny, happy people that Matilda and I are, we ended up meeting more even shinier and happier people. We met one girl who was 18 and all I can say is that she was so far sideways it wasn’t funny! She had a lovely, pliable young man following her every move so we told him to keep an eye on her as she was quite f&^%ed up. We talked the inconsequential crap you talk whilst listening to music that is so loud that the tiny inner bones of your ears are being fractured but that’s the way of it when you are out. Matilda popped downstairs for a ‘breath of fresh air’ and I sat quite happily in the corner surveying the throng of people. The display reminded me of the scene in ‘Fear and Loathing’ when Hunter has taken a shitload of stuff and the carpet was crawling up his legs. There were girls displaying as much flesh as I have seen in a hospital gown and guys who for some bizarre reason belt their jeans under their arses so you get more than just a flash of jocks – you see the whole lot! WTF is this fashion? Fellas no one wants to see your underpants! Women are not turned on by a display of hairy builder’s crack! Please for the love of all that is holy, cover your arse up!
Well due to the clocks winding forward because of daylight savings we lost an hour and ended up there for the ceremonial turning of the ugly lights on! URGH! Freaks everywhere and nevermind being as pissed as parrots, those birds had well and truly flown. Having said that, I was like a homing pigeon getting home as I am unconsciously wise to the rip off ways of most cab drivers. When we got home neither of us could sleep. We watched interminable comedy on youtube. Dylan Moran, Eddie Izzard, Ricky Gervais and then the sun came up and we were still hammering on! OMG this night was never going to end! We drank more, ate tim tams but still we were awake! I was concerned about this as I had to retrieve my car from town and pick up fredastaire from the airport at 5pm!
We talked, we drank coffee (probably a big mistake) and lay around. So much so that I ended up with a couch surfing injury – I injured the nerve in my right hip and spent the day hobbling around! I cannot believe it – go out all night in heels dancing and I get no injury, lie on my couch and end up with sciatica! It was during this time that I participated in some quite random calls and do apologise to anyone who was on the receiving end of any of these said calls. I was almost hallucinating with lack of sleep and a mixture of alcohol, caffeine and pain pills for the sciatica. We had to pull ourselves together and get out of this binge of a night! We showered and went hunting and gathering the good ole Kentucky Fried Cat. After greasy cat burger and filthy pepsi, I was ready to pick up my car and errant housemate.
Matilda stayed and tidied the house a little before Fredastaire’s return. We then hooked into Game of Thrones 3! OMG how legendary! We continued on the road to hell with more wine and pizza. After several episodes, Matilda and I finished our sleepover weekend talking about our lives and our next adventure at the end of the month. We had a fabulous weekend! It is so great to reconnect with one’s girly friends’ We have so many interesting stories that mark a fantastic friendship.
So, dear readers, you will probably hear of more adventures with Matilda in the future, however, this weekend has an interesting line up of nerd herding the engineer after work on friday as he really has to get out, brunch on saturday with the group, potentially a saturday night date and a sunday morning brunch before commencing another week of work on sunday afternoon. Its all go for the Jojogrrl lol! However as the old saying goes, the devil finds work for idle hands so I am determined to keep my hands full!
Until next time, be smart and be safe