Monthly Archives: October 2013

Jojogrrl and the dragon!

Evening funsters,

I thought I had better get this week down on paper as I have been quite the busy beaver.  After having dinner with the Quirky guy the Saturday before last, I then had a packed day last Tuesday which commenced with a walk with the engineer, brunch with some old friends and then a drink with one of the guys who responded to my add for a mail order groom followed by movies with the group and the engineer. 

This drink on a tuesday afternoon was with another prospective beau who had stumbled across my writings whilst obviously working hard within his government employment.  We met for a drink at the Treehouse which advertised it was open from 12-12 but it lied! So, I was loitering out the front awaiting his arrival.  Thus we toddled down to Kingo’s which is a slightly worn pretend Irish pub.  We sat and chatted for approximately 2 hours and agreed that we should catch up again. Unfortunately, due to our crazy schedules it looks like it won’t be until next month. Ahh well watch this space…

I then headed up to the movies and met up with the engineer.  We sat with one of my friends and watched 2 Guns.  I liked it though the flagrant chicken abuse was a bit much to take.  I dropped the engineer home and went home myself to get a good night’s sleep as I was meeting another for coffee in the morning.  I awoke and was off to have coffee with Mr Smooth.  I have to say he has definite people skills and must be quite good at his profession.  The time flew as we talked and laughed and made plans to catch up again (in fact as I write this we have been on the phone for about an hour and a half!) 

Thursday came and I went to work.  I checked my messages and had simultaneous message conversations with the traveler, quirky guy and Mr Smooth.  Talk about keeping me on my toes!  It’s quite challenging to make sure that you message the right person the right reply when you are having three different conversations at once!  I then headed over to visit the quirky guy for a drink. We had some wine and I find we have lots to talk about.  In the morning he made me a coffee without poisoning me and I left for home in my zebra skin dressing gown in the commuter traffic of Canberra.  I am sure there were several people on the buses that were at the lights with me that were quite amused.  When I got home I had a little disco nap before packing to go to Dragon Dreaming!

Dragon dreaming was what is known in Australia as a ‘bush doof’.  This is a music festival that features mainly psytrance, drum and base as well as a variety of other electronica.  I drove out towards Wee Jasper listening to my old Gatecrasher cds with the sun top on my car down.  It was a fantastic day for driving!  It took me about 2 hours to get there. I had to drive through some scary roads that were close to the edges of the hills and not much more than dusty tracks to finally get to the dreaming site.  It was on the bank of a river.  There were three stages Fire, Air and Earth as well as a wellbeing area (Water).  I pulled in, grabbed a drink bottle which I filled with a good shot of vodka and some red bull and headed to the Air stage.

Air stage had some really cool music playing.  There was a guy sitting near the middle of the dance floor on a chair listening in.  As there were not many people around I decided to strike up a conversation.  It transpired that he was a DJ from Canberra, about my age and appeared to enjoy my type of music.  We had a really great conversation and then Matilda and the Lazygardener (LG) arrived!  We set up our tents and went back to listen to some more great stuff.  I changed into my zebra skin dressing gown and beret to make a real fashion statement and to keep warm.  Around oneish I went to bed wrapped in said zebra, thermals, furry blankie, sleeping bag, beret and socks.  I was still cold!!  I curled into a ball and tried not to move and managed to give myself a sore hip but eventually the heavy drum beat put me to sleep.

I woke up on Saturday morning like a woman on a mission.  I dressed in a tie dyed hippy Indian style skirt and tshirt and headed out to the market for coffee. Matilda and LG were not up yet.  I coffeed up and  headed back to Air. There was this great trio on who were playing live.  I was dancing next to this crazy Canadian chick who was going to be an airhostess. She introduced me to a crew from Canberra, who then passed me to some strange Israeli dudes who then introduced me to a fabulous garbologist.  Each of these groups imparted various types of wisdom on me.  I felt like Alice going down the rabbit hole.  I met such interesting people!  After my own personal odyssey I went back to camp and met up with Matilda and LG.

The afternoon blended into the night in a blur of music and partying!  The opening ceremony was happening at Fire Stage and the music was going off!  There were all sorts of people there.  As I crossed the bridge there were a herd of zebra with a dragon and a fairy followed by a couple of lions.  It was all about the music. I am not completely au fait with all genres but most of what I heard I liked.  At one point I went back to Air and lay on a hay bale looking up at the stars.  It struck me that even though I was not with a significant other it didn’t matter because even if I was our journeys whilst simultaneous are different.  I also lay there actually thinking about my life whilst listening to the tunes and I actually felt content.   I realise now that I may not actually have a significant other in my life and I am ok with that.  I also am of the realisation that the only person I can rely on to love and care for me is me and I am ok with that too.  I don’t want to settle for just someone to warm my bed at night and be present in my life, I want someone to be a presence and to ‘get’ me and that is hard to find.  Not impossible but  I am slowly coming to accept that it may not happen.  I am also profoundly grateful for the richness that my friends – the family I chose bring to my life.  Amazing, the realisations one can come to at a bush doof eh?

I crashed with Matilda and LG in their tent as I was too bloody cold in my own. I left them to sleep in the morning and went off to have a little read in the sun.  When they got up I went with them to listen to LG do a permaculture talk in the Water tent.  It was very interesting to hear about how we can help the land to produce more by observing what grows and picking plants that are within the same and similar genres.  There was a lot of information to take in and even though I am not a gardener I found it quite interesting from a scientific point of view.

We then grabbed the silky blanket and headed to Fire Stage to lay in the sun and listen to some amazing psytrance.  Terafractyl was playing and it was awesome.  I had a little snooze under a tree and then bumped into the guy from the first day.  We hung out and he said he was playing a set and then leaving.  He then tempted me with talk of warm showers and maccas burgers.  I decided that he would make a fantastic seeing eye guide out of the place and that if he was off, so was I.  We listened to some really amazing stuff.  There was the psychedelic cat girl and electric guitarist who were really great and played for about an hour and a half before my friend.  He played a bit of eurotrance before throwing in what he calls ‘handbag house’.  A very good rendition of the Eurythmics ‘Sweet Dreams’ and Kylie’s ‘Can’t get you outta my head’ where her voice was toned and slowed to sound like a guys was fabulous. 

Eventually, all good things came to an end and as careflight and the cops arrived to move a patient to hospital, my friend and I left. I followed him through the farmer’s fields and the winding road that leads to Yass.  There were some brown trouser moments I must say!  We eventually got to Yass and headed to Maccas.  We were still in our doof clothes. I was wearing Matilda’s K-Mart Mountain Skank waistcoat, furry scarf, knitted gauntlets and beret.  Whilst we were eating the cops arrived took one look and moved away. I think we probably didn’t smell too good either!

I got home about 0200 and grabbed my washbag, went inside without unpacking the car, showered and collapsed into my nice warm bed.  When I got up, I did three loads of washing and watched Breaking Bad before heading out to dinner with the Quirky guy.  It is funny in that we do like each other but we are both far too cautious to fully dive into anything.  We can share some wine and talk about a plethora of subjects from Icelandic electronica to ex girlfriends who want to be friends with benefits but we are steadfastly not going to examine our dating too closely and for that I say I am grateful.  Quirky guy knows I multidate and also reads the blog (Hi lol!) but until we really have an idea as to what we feel and I for one, find him interesting and I like him but I haven’t settled anything else in my mind, we are just not going there.  I don’t want to create any pressure where none is required. I know he likes me and enjoys my company but I don’t think he knows what he wants either so it is pointless to try and guide the situation towards an end game that neither of us have settled on.

So, more coffee and a farewell and back home to complete the tidy up from the weekend and a bit of telephone tag with Mr Smooth before work.  I also received an email from my Tuesday afternoon drinking beau (TADBeau) who wants to secure a date next week.  Thus, on the horizon is drinks with people from work on this friday, dinner with quirky guy on saturday night, drinks with Mr Smooth on either wednesday or saturday and a friday night date with TADBeau.  All I can say, this dating lark is like another full time job without decent pay and superannuation but is turning out to be quite a ride!

Until next time, dear readers, stay safe!

The Jojogrrl



It’s you I think about.

I really felt so very special receiving this sentiment from someone I loved who would much rather shag someone else and think of me then really be with me.


Let’s play the game Marry, F*ck, or Kill.

It's you I think about

Guess which one you make me want to do.

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Our 100th Post!

Don’t be a disaster then lol!


It’s ThingsMyExSaid‘s 100th post!! Oh my gosh! We’re so old! And to celebrate, I thought what better way than to share one of my personal favorites. I’ve been saving this one for a special day. I think you can guess why.

Quotes for your website

Note to self: if he’s making it onto this website before he’s your ex, he should be your ex.

Got a quote you’d like to share? Send in your quotes and see that lemon of an ex turned into comedic lemonade!

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Blogging issues

Evening peeps,

I am debating the issue of how open I can or should be regarding the blog with prospective candidates for the role of significant other in my life?  On the one hand I have people advising not to tell a guy anything about it, especially if they happen to feature but on the other hand is this dishonest?  If I got involved with someone and didn’t tell them would they see this as a breach of privacy?  If I am not upfront about it when would be a good time to casually drop into a conversation “Oh by the way, I blog all my dating adventures and you now feature in a blog that is read by a bunch of people on the worldwide web?” I bet that would probably go down like a cold bucket of sick as most guys freak at the thought of being immortalised here.  An example of this is the German.  I told him about the blog and he threatened me with legal action!  He had never even read any of it because if he had he would have realised that I am pretty good at de-identifying people (though if you live in Canberra and want to email me if any of these guys sound familiar I may just let you know).

So, with this in mind I do tell the prospective dates that I blog my life but not everything goes into the blog.  I do tell them that it is mainly the disasters so don’t be a disaster lol!  As you know from the last post I had a very memorable first date.  This guy who I will not call the poisoner because he is rather nice so shall be known as the Quirky guy knows all about the blog and knows our date has been immortalised for prosperity.  Some guys might be intimidated by this but he apparently is not.  So, some guys might not like to know exactly what I think about them or a situation but it could work in their favour if they are actually interested in me it gives them an insight into my mind. Sometimes it is easier to share my thoughts on the web then with an actual person.

My mother and some of my girlfriends think this honesty would be intimidating and off putting to a guy especially when I drop the blog into conversation on the first or second meeting.  However, as far as relationship deal breakers I think this is by far quite innocent.  Some people, for instance neglect to tell you they have children!  Mmm I think this is more of an issue then whether or not I write about a disastrous coffee date.  Some people also neglect to tell you that they haven’t had a relationship in a decade or have a foot fetish or are looking for a maid.  I think these are bigger crimes!  My forthrightness and honesty should be looked upon as positives. I am a live wire.  I like to party.  I like clubs, loud music, travel.  I am a loud person which can be terrifying to the mice!  I am not going to apologise for the way I am or lull people into a false sense of security by behaving in a manner that is not me in order to capture someone’s attention.  As far as I am concerned this is me, if you don’t like it or accept it then you are missing out and I am not the one for you.  This has led to a long, sometimes lonely path but it also leads to fun and adventure.

An example of me being myself is that I was supposed to catch up with the engineer for a movie on Saturday.  We arranged to meet at 12 and by 1210 I had no text from him and he wasn’t there so I sent him a text and said that I had better things to do with my time then wait for him and catch him next time.  You would think after dating me for six months he would have figured out that punctuality is important to me.  By being late and not contacting me you are being disrespectful of my time.  The old Jojogrrl would have waited but not now. Between working and dating half of Canberra, I am a busy girl lol!  This dating thing is like a second job only the pay sucks lol!  He eventually managed to catch up with me at the shopping centre for a coffee as I had to buy food for my second date with the quirky guy.

As I am by no means a masterchef, I find cooking for an audience quite terrifying. I know in the back of my mind that if I really fuck it up there’s always pizza but still, I am a perfectionist and when I get it into my head to do something I must do it well or spend years in therapy!  The menu for my date was roast pork belly stuffed with apricots and hazelnuts and veg followed by triple chocolate brownies and caramel peanut brittle icecream.  When my date appeared we opened some wine whilst I cooked and we talked.  He does read the blog and is in two minds about being in here.  I don’t want to scare anyone off with the blog but it is here for my therapy.  When I write I reflect on situations as well as entertaining you.  The meal was not a romantic dinner for two as FredAstaire also joined us before heading out to trip the light fantastic.

What do I do now?  The genie is out of the bottle.  Quirky guy knows about my blog and so do others as most guys I meet here in Canberra seem to be in IT and obviously spend a great deal of time surfing the web reading all sorts of crap.  If they like me, they like me.  If they want to be with me, they will just have to trust me that I won’t write anything (even if we don’t last) that is too cruel.  The man who wins me can’t be a mouse, must be secure in himself and be cool with me as the whole package.  If this is the case they will get more than they ever expected in return.

On that note, I am off like a bride’s nightie.  This weekend promises to be huge as Matilda (and her lovely man) and I are off to Dragon Dreaming!  It is a huge music festival for three days of partying are arses off!  If it’s anything like Easter there will be lots of dreadlocked people and dogs and families and all manner of things to keep me amused.

Until then, be cool!

The Jojogrrl

Sweet Poisoning!

Evening groovas,

Tonight’s riveting episode chronicles a first date that to me goes down as one of the most memorable I have ever had!  I will preface this by saying that despite what occurred on this date, I happen to like this guy and hope to see more of him in the coming weeks or months.  With that in mind, I had to share this as it was too funny even by my standards which if you read this as a regular you would know are on occasions highly questionable lol!

I have had coffee with this guy a couple of times and was really looking forward to my date this weekend.  I had started my Saturday getting over the night before, what can I say?  Tequila and red bull are always a good idea at 1am! However, I was a little under the weather before lunch.  I grabbed Season 6 Weeds to lie on the couch and watch prior to the dinner date. As usual I was in a quandary as to what to wear.  Do I want to look cute, sexy or pretty?  Or the other question which is more pressing – what is clean?

I settled on a long sleeved LBD with little black strappy kitten heeled sandals which I must say showed a little leg.  I straightened my hair, applied a bit of warpaint and headed out early as punctuality is very important to me.  As I pulled into the car park he was also getting out his car.  I hoped I made a good impression.  We wandered down to a little Italian restaurant where we had some very nice Italian food and carried on the ‘new typical’ conversation.  I say there is ‘new typical’ conversation as you are in essential filling the blanks of information supplied on internet dating site charts.  So, whilst you may know  a guy has 2 kids, a dog and is divorced and loves chinese food, U2 and mountain biking, you will have no real idea of where he lives, his surname, where he works or and real relationship history.  This then starts to resemble a game.  How much information is too much?  Do you talk about the grade 4 boyfriend  who cheated on you with your best friend and how that lead to your loneliness years in high school?  Do you talk about embarrassing body issues that are long gone e.g. I just lost 30kgs and flash the large pictures at the unsuspecting date?  On our date we discussed a variety of dating related issues as well as the usual political talk that often occurs here in the capital. After dinner over coffee we talked about our various jobs overseas.  He had worked in Europe and the US and I have been to Saudi Arabia.

To continue this conversation we went up to the Hippo Bar as I had never been before.  We managed to get a nice table on the deck so we sat and had a couple of drinks.  I, of course did the Espresso Martini twice and he was on the vodka. We were having a great time and we decided to go back to his for some more wine as he was close to town.  Whilst in the process of doing this I stood and managed to get my left heel caught in a hole where the tracking for the windows closes the bar to the balcony.  I twisted my left knee and fell quite hard.  I have a bruised knee and the top of my foot is also bruised.  I was so embarrassed and it was further compounded because I wasn’t drunk.  Anyway, I managed to get back on my feet, negotiate my way downstairs and back to the car without any more significant damaged to myself or my attire.

I followed him back to his and it appears to be a townhouse.  We went up the stairs and there was like a one bedroom small self contained apartment upstairs.  I was really impressed that it was clean.  No wet laundry hanging over chairs  or anything.  I definitely awarded brownie points for that.  We sat down and continued talking about our various travels in relation to work and how the work cultures were different.  I said to him he could potentially make a mint in the  Middle East with all the stuff he does and would be treated well.

It eventually got quite late and as I had imbibed at least half a bottle of wine and the espresso martinis it was considered to be more sensible if I stayed there.  That was fine, we had a kiss and a cuddle and I slept the sleep of the dead!  I awoke about 7 and then went back to a snooze before requesting a coffee. He asked me how I like it and I said white with one.  I got it and it tasted funny but as a guest you don’t want to nitpick anything.  after finishing the coffee I then saw the nutrasweet or splendour on the table.  I asked him if he put that in my drink and he said he did as the brown sugar was in the cupboard and would have necessitated effort to obtain it.  I started to get clammy, my head was spinning, I felt like I was going to be sick and subsequentially was sick twice.  I also got jittery like someone with dts.  This is not good peeps! One’s happy, romantic date should not end in vomiting and headaches and a painful stomach that is only relieved by lying in a ball.

Typical!  I want to make an impression and oh, what an impression I have made!  My idea was that he was see me looking cute and being all intelligent ended up with me looking like I had been dragged backwards through a hedge!

He was really sweet and very concerned about me. I had to call in to work sick as I did not know how long the effects of this rat poison, evil bastard stuff would last. I had a shower there and he loaned me some boxers and a tshirt. I lay on his couch feeling really shaky for awhile. Eventually he had to go out and I left still in said clothing and feeling like a real houso I went through Kentucky cat drive through in this garb with my big, black sunglasses in the hope of being a bit more inconspicuous. I figured that the food would either absorb the poison or make me throw up.

Eventually I got home and died on my own couch after eating. He texted to see if I was ok and we have made another plan to meet again. I am going to cook him dinner at mine thereby eliminating any chance of being poisoned by unfamiliar chemicals – just bad cooking lol!

Being with you.

OMG! It’s the Scientist!


This might be the ultimate version of “it’s not you, it’s me.”

don't want to be in a relationship with anyone

You’ve actually made me allergic to people. Congratulations for making me want to give up on life. But really, it’s me.

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The Girly weekend!

Evening all,

Can you believe it we had ANOTHER long weekend this month!  We can go months and months without one and then have two in one month.  It is playing havoc with my roster!  This weekend one of my oldest and bestest friends, Matilda came to visit from interstate.  Matilda is like a younger sister though I sometimes wonder who is the corrupter and the corruptee (is that a word) in this friendship?  All I know is that we catch up every couple of months and it takes me all the time in between for my internal organs to recuperate.

She turned up after work on friday night and we made short work of some bubbles, pate, cheese and antipasto whilst gossiping about life, the universe and everything.  She, unlike myself is in a decent, long term relationship with someone who is fabulously nonconformist.  They are fantastic together and I am happy that she has found a relationship that brings so much to her life.  I, on the other hand got to regale her with the back story to the interesting people I have met.  The blog is my way of working things out, however, dear readers not everything gets here.  Why?  What am I holding back?  Well, there are the not so interesting scenarios that as I was bored or annoyed, I am nice enough not to pass this on to you. Or, maybe I haven’t processed something yet, or maybe there are just some things better left unsaid?  One of my favourite sayings is ‘Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening’ and therefore I leave it to your imagination to guess which of these things are a feature (if any) on any given week.

Anyway, after a bit of a late night we crashed out determined to go shopping with gusto the next day (this is a girly weekend after all).  We made some ‘investment’ purchases on our shopping trip.  In one particular shop (oh all right then it was Bras N Things), the assistant had little ears on and a blackened nose. Matilda inquired as to why this was so and was told as a promotion the shop assistants in the main shopping centres had to come dressed as something starting as the suburb e.g. witches in woden.  She said that as this was Civic she had come as a cat.  There was only Matilda, myself, the shop assistant, some chick and a bored looking guy in the shop.  Quick as a flash before thinking I said, one of my ex boyfriends got dressed for a  ‘C’ party once, he came as a C&^%!  Well, Matilda pissed herself laughing, the shop assistant’s jaw dropped to the floor before she started and the bored guy actually stopped texting and looked up with a grin on his face.  Only the chick looked unamused but then again if I looked like her I would too.  We then headed for home for a disco nap prior to organising ourselves for our big night out.  She has beautiful long, rich brown hair with red highlights and I am the stereotypical busty blonde so, how much trouble could we get in? 

We zoomed in the Jojomobile to Kremlin for the beginning of a bit of a cocktail binge.  We commenced the proceedings with my favourite the espresso martini with cognac.  After listening to jazz and imbibing the nectar of the Gods we walked all the way to TnG only to find a $15 cover charge for some lame RnB act.  Wtf?  Nothing in this town is worth that princely sum, so we headed to Moose whereby another of my online friends said he would catch up.  We were drinking more cocktails.  It was a blur of colours and all I can say if I had chucked it would have been like a rainbow lol!  My online friend turned up and he was quite attractive.  I was slightly taller in my heels.  He was really sweet, however, it was interesting talking to a guy with body dysmorphia.  He honestly had nothing to worry about but apparently he had lost an awful lot of weight and he has very little confidence despite being really nice looking now.   It was quite an eye opener to be on the other side of this issue.  Society is so used to women being self conscious and worried about their looks that I really didn’t know how to deal with this one.  After awhile he left and we went downstairs. 

Being the shiny, happy people that Matilda and I are, we ended up meeting more even shinier and happier people.  We met one girl who was 18 and all I can say is that she was so far sideways it wasn’t funny!  She had a lovely, pliable young man following her every move so we told him to keep an eye on her as she was quite f&^%ed up.  We talked the inconsequential crap you talk whilst listening to music that is so loud that the tiny inner bones of your ears are being fractured but that’s the way of it when you are out.  Matilda popped downstairs for a ‘breath of fresh air’ and I sat quite happily in the corner surveying the throng of people. The display reminded me of the scene in ‘Fear and Loathing’ when Hunter has taken a shitload of stuff and the carpet was crawling up his legs.  There were girls displaying as much flesh as I have seen in a hospital gown and guys who for some bizarre reason belt their jeans under their arses so you get more than just a flash of jocks – you see the whole lot!  WTF is this fashion?  Fellas no one wants to see your underpants!  Women are not turned on by a display of hairy builder’s crack!  Please for the love of all that is holy, cover your arse up!

Well due to the clocks winding forward because of daylight savings we lost an hour and ended up there for the ceremonial turning of the ugly lights on! URGH!  Freaks everywhere and nevermind being as pissed as parrots, those birds had well and truly flown.  Having said that, I was like a homing pigeon getting home as I am unconsciously wise to the rip off ways of most cab drivers.  When we got home neither of us could sleep.  We watched interminable comedy on youtube.  Dylan Moran, Eddie Izzard, Ricky Gervais and then the sun came up and we were still hammering on!  OMG this night was never going to end!  We drank more, ate tim tams but still we were awake!  I was concerned about this as I had to retrieve my car from town and pick up fredastaire from the airport at 5pm!

We talked, we drank coffee (probably a big mistake) and lay around.  So much so that I ended up with a couch surfing injury – I injured the nerve in my right hip and spent the day hobbling around!  I cannot believe it – go out all night in heels dancing and I get no injury, lie on my couch and end up with sciatica!  It was during this time that I participated in some quite random calls and do apologise to anyone who was on the receiving end of any of these said calls.  I was almost hallucinating with lack of sleep and a mixture of alcohol, caffeine and pain pills for the sciatica.  We had to pull ourselves together and get out of this binge of a night!  We showered and went hunting and gathering the good ole Kentucky Fried Cat.  After greasy cat burger and filthy pepsi, I was ready to pick up my car and errant housemate.

Matilda stayed and tidied the house a little before Fredastaire’s return.  We then hooked into Game of Thrones 3!  OMG how legendary!  We continued on the road to hell with more wine and pizza.  After several episodes, Matilda and I finished our sleepover weekend talking about our lives and our next adventure at the end of the month.  We had a fabulous weekend!  It is so great to reconnect with one’s girly friends’  We have so many interesting stories that mark a fantastic friendship.

So, dear readers, you will probably hear of more adventures with Matilda in the future, however, this weekend has an interesting line up of nerd herding the engineer after work on friday as he really has to get out, brunch on saturday with the group, potentially a saturday night date and a sunday morning brunch before commencing another week of work on sunday afternoon.  Its all go for the Jojogrrl lol!  However as the old saying goes, the devil finds work for idle hands so I am determined to keep my hands full!

Until next time, be smart and be safe

The Jojogrrl


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