Speedy brunches and conceptual telephone calls

Hi there peeps!

Been a bit quiet in recent weeks due to looking after my health and attempting to get my career in order whilst working afternoons at the hospital.  Anyway, I did manage to snag a brunch with the builder.  The builder was a little older than me, two teenagers and appeared quite fit and healthy.  We met at the local coffee shop mid morning as I had a shift at the hospital in the afternoon.  I decided that I would actually go and have brunch.  Maybe this was to my detriment.  I could tell whilst I perused the menu that he was probably thinking ‘I am not going to pay for that’.  I didn’t expect him to pay for anything to be honest and I was a bit hungry.  There for me is a dilemma, should he or I pay?  I am quite happy to pay my way as I always have but I could see that he was happy to pay if I kept it to coffee.  In the end I decided on some banana bread with mascapone which he also chose.

OMG, it was like a job interview!  I asked him how long he had lived here and he said about 20 years.  I asked him what he liked to do on the weekends?  He said ride his bike.  I told him I liked to go out and party.  I could see his brow furrow.  It was relief when after the coffee and banana bread he said he had a meeting to go to.  He paid for ‘brunch’ gave me the social kiss goodbye and left.  I checked my watch and saw it was 45 minutes from beginning to end!  That was fine with me as I had some shopping to do lol!

I had another date set up with ‘rain man’.  Rain man was a 43 year old professional who sent me the longest introduction letter known to man.  I replied and this set off a long discourse on a variety of societal issues.  It became a pissing contest really and he had the hide to correct my ‘facts’ though he did give me points for raising some ‘interesting’ points!  WTF?!  Anyway, we exchanged telephone numbers in order to arrange a meeting.  It was at this point he tells me he doesn’t have a mobile!  What do you mean you don’t have a mobile?  Even four year olds in outer Mongolia have one!  I asked him was he some kind of spy?  Was he on the secret service’s watch list?  Apparently he just doesn’t like them.  I actually do have stuff to do in the week and he said he would call me mid week.  The night he decided to call I had gone to the tattoo artist’s to have a remodel and recolour and was running late.  I called him back whereby we commenced an intellectual conversation whilst I froze my arse off in the car as it is the middle of winter here.  Amongst topics discussed was ‘children’.  I pointed out to him that if he hadn’t had any by now chances are he had missed the boat.  He said that he thought he would be a great parent and I said in what way?  It turned out that because he was educated he thought he would be great at it but I countered with the fact that he looked at it as a concept and not in real terms.  It appears like most men who like the idea of children that he had not exactly thought the whole idea through.  I said that they don’t come all wrapped up in clean bundles of blankets and that whilst they can give you great happiness and joy (all parents assure me of this whilst looking like hell due to worry and lack of sleep lol!) they are noisy, messy and ruin your routine.  It was at this point he confided that he had Aspergers!  Well then, I said, you are really fucked then because children will definitely fuck up your life and if you have OCD tendencies they will make your head explode.  He then paused and said he hadn’t actually thought of it in this way.

I asked him when was the last time he had a relationship?  He then asked me to define the word!  So, I said to him it is the usual, general definition and then he asked if unrequited love counted?!  NO!! it has to be an EXCHANGE between two mutually accepting human beings.  He said he thought maybe sometime in the late 90s for about two weeks.  OMG!!

So, to summarise this exchange – a guy with Aspergers who is a hermit and born again virgin with vague ideas about producing children (who potentially will have his Aspergers!)  What could I say about this tempting little offer but my favourite four letter word – NEXT!

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