Evening again groovers!
Shit flies thick and fast in my world let me tell you! Since only an hour or so ago I have had yet another one bite the dust. However, I am learning my tolerance to fuckwittery! A couple of weeks ago I met Cyberman on an internet dating site. He seemed charming, educated and even better was in the Southern Hemisphere! Too good to be true you say? Fuck yeah! The Cyberman lives in another state from me but it was doable to eventually meet. In fact, those of you who know of my nomadic lifestyle would know that as I have lived just about everywhere in Oz this place is an old stamping ground. Anyway, we started with a few emails and then last weekend it got to texting. Cyberman is 6ft 6 and from the pics I got is totally in proportion (quite a frightening thought actually!). We flirted a bit with chat and I really thought maybe I had met someone I could be with. He liked to cook and I like to eat. He has a few more bits of paper than me which is a rarity so therefore would not be intimidated by my qualifications. He had traveled a lot and had some kids and better yet didn’t want anymore. As I said, obviously too good to be true. We friended on facebook I thought so we could actually see a snapshot of each other’s life. He got to see my life and I got to see one pic and a bunch of women which he admitted were just people he had found on internet dating sites (Could that be considered a flooze of women?). So much for a flow of information. He got to see my life and he was still a closed book.
We spoke once on the phone whilst he was driving one day and the conversation seemed to flow. We were talking about travel etc and I was really enjoying it. I asked if he would like to skype when I got home thinking we could talk more. Talk about naive! Yesterday I flew home from the west coast and we were going to skype but he was busy. That was ok, I understand that people can be really busy with life.
I got a message today from him of would I like to skype? When I got on skype he didn’t have any speakers so we could see each other and had to type to talk (how odd?) Almost as soon as I get on he starts pressuring me to open my robe and show him myself. Why? Why do they do this? I said to him that not only am I not feeling particularly sexy as I have a cancer on my breast but I don’t know him and don’t want to show myself to him. I could tell he was pissed off. Everytime I tried to turn the conversation to something else he moved it back. He even looked pissed off! After awhile of this verbal dance he got to see my nightie as I said I can’t just cyber with some stranger, the Jojogrrl is not that kind of girl!
Anyway, I had to go to my specialist appointment so I didn’t get back to him until after I had written the last post. We talked again and he started by wanting to see my boobs! WTF?! Doesn’t matter how educated a man is that’s all they want! I said no and tried to steer the conversation and then he starts saying that I am controlling and trying to lay the guilts on for me not gettting my gear off!
This worm has turned! The old Jojogrrl would have felt bad or been manipulated into giving him what he wanted due to the fear of not having him but guess what people? I don’t have him! Yep I have finally figured it out! I am not a commodity. I am not here to make someone else feel good at the expense of my self esteem. I said to him that I wanted to get to know him as a person but that wasn’t good enough! So, FUCK HIM! Or in this case NOT!
Cyberman tried all the tricks, guilt, persuasion, flattery but you know what would have worked? If he had actually wanted to get to know me he would have respected the boundary I had put up. If I was actually someone he seriously considered worth dating he would not have been pressuring me. I had already dealt with this issue with the German. He wanted to see more of me than I was willing to show. I told both of them that they would have to wait to see any of me until they physically saw me. Funnily enough I am now not in communication with either of them! I have removed both from my facebook and my skype. They have my email address if they ever feel the need to treat me like a human being and not some blow up sex doll.
It was funny though because Cyberman tried to call my bluff regarding my boundaries by saying I was controlling everything and everything had to be my way. I just said well ok then. To be honest I had a gut feeling about him. When I was online to him there was something that didn’t seem right and the more he tried bullying me the more I didn’t like it.
So, let’s have a round of the Jojogrrl’s favourite word. All together now 1, 2, 3 NEXT!