A tale of Two Tradies – The Sparky and The Plumber

Evening funsters!

Had a wee break the last week or so catching up with the family on the West Coast.  As stated previously, 24 hours is a long time in Joland so I will need to catch you all up with the latest.  A few weeks ago at the beginning of July, I went to a great 40th party with a bunch of friends and ended up at the casino nightclub with them.  The company was ok but the club which was 70s-90s if you were lucky was teeming with guys that looked old enough to be my dad!  After about an hour and a half I was going to make like a baby and head on out towards home when I made an unscheduled stop at the local dance haunt – Mooseheads.  Mooseheads is a three storey club filled with the young, very young and zygotic lol!  I went upstairs and promptly got carded in the toilets by a couple of teenagers! They couldn’t believe how ancient I am.  They asked for my secret of eternal youth to which I replied “I only drink wine, coffee and water and don’t have children!”  I then went to the bar and got a vodka, lime and soda before retreating to a table to people watch.  After awhile, a young gent came up trying to talk up one of his friends.  After telling him that I was not interested in his spiel about his friend, he went away and then came back to try on his own behalf.  He was an Army cadet who was leaving to go study at a real uni and wanted to spend his last night in Canberra with me.  OMG PUKE and he wanted to leave now!  So, I said “Don’t let the door hit you in the arse on the way out.”  He was most taken aback as he thought I would rush out to be with him.  I told him I had come out for a drink and a dance and that’s what I wanted to do.

I spent a fair bit of time soaking up the tunes on the floor and when I decided to have a rest an annoying, drunk guy decided he had to talk to me.  Talk about ruining my buzz!  I even said to him “Go away annoying, drunk guy you are ruining my buzz” all to no avail.  So, I went downstairs for another dance.  That was when I met the cute Sparky.  He was tall, blonde and had a fantastic smile.  I thought “HELLO!” He offered me a drink and then got all embarrassed when his card had disappeared!  Anyway, we talked awhile and he came home with me.  As much as we complain about Generation Y, ladies, I have to say my estimations went up.  God bless tradies, they always have the right tool for the job.  He was a lovely young man and wanted to see me again.  He even said that I was beautiful (mood lighting and alcohol – great combination) The good thing about this situation is that I am under no illusions of ever maintaining a relationship. I mean, really!  I am not Demi Moore and I have a tattoo older than him lol!  He left when his brother picked him up at 12 and I went to work for 1pm.  Ah to be young again.

Since I was on a roll in a manner of speaking, I thought I would go out the following weekend as dancing for several hours is great exercise and that’s my excuse and I am sticking to it.  Was incredibly lazy regarding getting dressed up.  The week before I scored in jeans and a t-shirt so I thought “Why mess with the formula?”  I didn’t even comb my hair.  Anyway, out I went into the cold, freezing Canberra night and over to get loose at the Moose.  Got talking to a group on a hens night which was quite amusing and then hit the floor.  I can’t believe that they have to slow the music down because some of these young things can’t keep up!  I had a few very muscular, large guys try and literally pick me up which was a bit scary and then a few follow me around the floor for a bit. I then spotted these two guys on the outside who were not giving off creepy vibes. I danced near them and got talking to the shorter one – the Plumber (the other was the apprentice).  He was up on a job from Melbourne, blonde, taller than me and nicely built.  Anyway, we sat for awhile and had a drink before I drove them back to their temporary apartment somewhere on the other side of the city.  Bloody hell, I need to get a GPS installed I think!  So, after coffee and a chat I stayed there.  The Plumber was a lovely guy about to turn 23 the following saturday.  He was nice, cute and disposable.  I didn’t even bother asking for a phone number and left to drive home to a nice cooked breakfast and a shower.

After breakfast, I received a text from the Speed Dater who after an unsuccessful booty call when I first moved in, I hadn’t heard from in about five weeks and later that night the German sent me a message online saying he had been stressed by how fast it was all going blah, blah, blah!  Back to empty promises.  You would think if someone was keen to sort a green card marriage he would keep the prospective bride sweet eh?  Well, in the course of the week, I found that he was busy the week he didn’t communicate with me at a wedding in Iowa with his lying, cheating ex girlfriend.  He actually put pics up on facebook! He must think I am so desperate for his company that I would overlook this.  Well I gave him a chance to email or contact me but he didn’t so DEFRIEND!  Not putting up with lying bullshit from anyone anymore.  That is the big take home lesson I learned with the IMOM.  Also if it seems too good to be true it probably is.

So, how is the quest going?  Well I have got rid of the German and the Naked Finn and I haven’t heard from the Accountant.  The Speed dater has apparently gone overseas for a month, the Plumber went back to Melbourne but I did get a text from the Sparky…

So, whilst the promise of long lasting, romantic, forever ever after love appears a long way away for me, there are always diversions to keep one amused.  As I like to say “A girl needs a hobby” lol!

Til next time

Jojogrrl xxx

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