The Hermit, The German, The Captain and The Finn (it’s not a joke – honestly!)

G’day groovers,

24 hours is a long time in the Jojogrrl’s life and things can change at the drop of a hat.  Let’s see, where was I, Oh yes, sleepovers and the hermit.  The Hermit and I started hanging out on the weekends and slid into the relaxed holding pattern of two people enjoying each other’s company.  We continued with the sleepovers and then, oops he let caution fly to the wind and the ‘s’ word happened!  Temptation was just too much!  After the slip of the halo, he had to do what all good religious people do and go to church for half a day!  I was beginning to think he was also into wearing hair shirts and flagellation.  The whole situation turned weird.  We went to dinner and talked and I said I was more than happy to follow his lead whatever he decided that to be. I really don’t think he knew but the whole Christian guilt thing was getting to him.  We saw each other one more time, he disappeared for a week and then I called him only to have him do the ‘I don’t think we should see each other’ talk by phone.  COWARD!  One four letter word covers this and him – NEXT!

It was not long after this I met Mr Feedback.  I just did not think I could possibly go on dealing with these guys who just have no clue what they want.  In the midst of all of this, the IMOM dumped me by phone AGAIN!  Honestly, how much can a koala bear?  It is so gutless dumping someone by phone.  I was especially pissed with the IMOM but not surprised, he doesn’t deal with emotion and has horsegirl there so why would he bother?!  His loss I say. He is 53 this year and I am in my prime, maybe its for the best, he only has one good dog year left before he gets old lol!

So, then here comes the German.  I saw him online and he said in his profile he wanted to come to Australia and I would be lying if I didn’t say, he is HOT!  He was all for hurrying to meet. I told him I had time booked off courtesy of the IMOM and he DESPERATELY wanted to meet me.  We skyped and I checked him out. He didn’t appear to be a serial killer. I am a realist and I know that if we got together it would probably be a ‘green card marriage’ but hell, I could grow on him like mould to a bathroom window.  Yes, we both had stuff going on in our lives but after the initial, come here, I want you, we have to meet etc he withdrew like a beaten panzer division in the night.  I have no clue what happened.  I have emailed, texted, called and tried skype all to no avail.  I guess he is pursuing what he thinks are better offers.  All I know is I didn’t even get the call or a one line email from him to say he wasn’t interested.  However, this small interlude gave me big ideas.  Why should I limit myself to the gene pool of Australia? I am on the search.  I should call it Jolotto.  There has to be one guy on this planet who is not afraid to venture forth and I am not going to wait for him to find me.  I am going to go searching for him!

At this point, I should tell you I went from having a ticket to Abu Dhabi, a ticket to Frankfurt and a job to this week none of the above!  I am sure my fairy godmother must be a drunken Irish leprechaun with a twisted sense of humour!  Maybe I should get a lottery ticket, things could not possibly get worse!  As my friends have said – Bridget has nothing on me!

This led me to replying to the Captain.  He is an American army guy (not very smart but can life heavy things lol!)  He wrote to me requesting that I ring him at some base in Michigan and go through all this BS because we should be together. Wait a minute, back the bus up!  HE contacted ME then requests I spend a gazillion dollars on calling him.  Apparently, you have to go through his comms area blah blah, special forces, blah, blah.  I told him I wasn’t buying any of it. Hell, I lived on an airforce base for about three years. I said he could email, IM, Skype or get his arse off the base and call me.  I also told him he needs to solve his comms problems before contacting women.  Honestly, is every army guy ‘special forces’ because if so, who does the normal crap work?  The one word to sum this situation up is – NEXT (yep,you got it!)

I have not let these disasters prevent me from pushing on.  If nothing else, I am determined (or is that stubborn?).  I signed up for another site to see what else is out there.  This leads me to asking, why do old, fat, bald guys think they have a snowball’s chance in hell with me?  I am mature enough not to waste my time filling the inboxes of young, gorgeous, completely out of my league young studs, so why do these guys do it?  Do they think they will get me in a weak moment when I am thinking “Gee, there’s no-one out there, I might as well give a 62 year old balding guy with a ponytail a try!”  WTF??  This brings me to the FINN.  I have to admit, he is very hot and caught my eye and then I thought, “What the hell!”. Furthermore, he contacted me first so I messaged him back.  He is 32 and ladies think Eric Northman!  I must admit after being messaged by some of these gorgeous Northern European types, I may have to save to get a ticket and go look for myself.  One word – WOW! (not the other one for a change) Anyway, we message and I get a skype handle off him. He then sends me a link.  I copy and paste and it is in Finnish funnily enough.  I translate the page and I message him to ask if he was sending porn?  He tells me its a Finnish dating site with his profile on it.  Alright, I think.  I may as well go have a look.  OMG! Naked man alert!  Not only naked but excited man!  I was shocked!  Yes he is hot and very much in proportion with his 190cm tall frame shall I say,  but REALLY! You can’t be doing this to middle aged women!  I may suffer a heart attack at the computer with not even a cat to find me in my deadened state!

As I said, this promises to be a weird and wonderful journey and you my friends get to share it.  Who knows what situation I will be in next week.  So, dear friends, tune it to the crazy ride

Jojogrrl

PS Don’t be shy, spread the blog.  Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.  If you have a brother, friend, cousin, acquaintance, male of the species kicking around who you think may fit the bill, send them my way. What’s the worst that could happen?  They may even make it to the blog

 

 

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2 thoughts on “The Hermit, The German, The Captain and The Finn (it’s not a joke – honestly!)

  1. Chantal July 5, 2013 at 7:00 am Reply

    Hi Jo, I enjoyed reading your blog 🙂 I’m glad someone is talking about all the frustrations of dating. Have a great holiday in Perth! Chantal

    • jojogrrl July 18, 2013 at 10:58 pm Reply

      Glad you are enjoying the blog. Please keep reading it and sharing it around. Also feel free to leave comments or even your own dating disasters here. The more the merrier I say lol!

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