So, groovers here it is – my life in the singles game! I woke up this morning feeling very decisive. I am visiting my mother next week in Perth and hope to catch up with a random rabble of friends.
I decided to reinstate my registration on an international singles website to see what I may find. I have put myself out there because I am determined that countries, borders or nationalities are not going to stop me in my quest. So, now you know I am determined in my mission I thought I might amuse you with some of the tales of horror that singles must endure.
This year, mmm what have I found? Men who are emotionally unavailable, men who at 40 have never lived with or been on holiday with women, men who actually have no idea what they want so how do they think they will find it?
After breaking up with the engineer due to his lack of commitment after six months I had a pretty bad health scare. In a moment of weakness I contacted the International Man of Mystery (IMOM) in the Middle East. The IMOM is like my Mr Big, except now I have kicked the habit once and for all (only recently and will be like a alcoholic fighting this demon for awhile). Anyway, IMOM has a new girl whom he took up with being unfaithful to me in the first place. IMOM and horsegirl have been together since 1/1/12 except he took me home to meet mum and dad on 29/2/12. I even got to fly business class courtesy of his frequent flyer points there and back. So, IMOM and I got talking and basically commenced a cyber affair which culminated in him sending me another airline ticket to meet him in a very exotic destination this month.
He wrote all manner of romantic bullshit, telling me how he couldn’t forget me blah blah blah and did I get suckered in or what? I have had IMOM screwing with my brain since december 2007 on and off. He told me when we met he was separated and low and behold 2013 has come and gone and he is still separated except he also had a girlfriend to be unfaithful to as well. All I can say is he is taking to the Middle Eastern lifestyle like a duck to water!
So, here I was on road to Disappointmentville when I decided to take a detour by attempting to date some other guys. I guess I was not 100% trusting of the IMOM and was hedging my bets in case, yet again he turned out to be his usual self. I had one pretty uneventful date with a cop and then met the Hermit. The Hermit is 40, has had two long distance relationships in his life and never spent a great deal of time with a woman. Online we appeared to enjoy the same stuff and were even reading the same book (love Game of Thrones – sex and violence, what more could you want?)
Due to his lack of experience with women, I did not stun him with the full Jojogrrl complement of charms as I felt he would probably implode lol! We had a couple of nice, friendly dates and then I moved to the Humungous House and asked if he would help. He came by and helped my new flatmate FredAstaire and I move stuff.
After drinks and pizza and a night watching a bunch of stuff on tv, I went to show him the door. I gave him a hug goodbye and went to give him the polite social kiss when he REALLY kissed me. OMG, you cannot do that to me and expect no consequences. It was like the old Clash song ‘Do I stay or do I go?’ He decided he wanted to sleepover. All I can say in the interests of good taste and decorum is that it really was a sleepover! I have not been to one of them since high school with GIRLS not BOYS! WTF? I am a 40 year old woman, I don’t do sleepovers!
so what happened next? Well groovers, tune in to blog 3 and it will become as clear as wonderwoman’s airplane lol!