The Last Post

Evening peeps,
It has been four months since my last confession. I am sure the regular readers are wondering where I have been. Was I abducted by aliens or put in jail for indecent exposure of asshats!? Nope something much more wonderful has happened – the Jojogrrl has met her match! And so, without much further ado this week’s post is – THE LAST POST!

From where I left off I was multidating and meeting the usual run of the mill boychildren that populate this town as well as one or two reasonably nice guys but no one really excited or thrilled me. With that in mind I continued to contact one or two guys online but to be honest my enthusiasm and faith was beginning to fail. I was still working hard at the hospital as the downturn of the economy has sapped the jobs away and the public service is pretty much a closed shop. Anyway, I received a message from Sturm Ritter. He and I communicated back and forth online until eventually we actually spoke on the phone. We had this really long, very easy conversation and made plans to meet at Lucky’s Bar on Friday 16 May at 2130 after I had finished work. However, that day work cancelled so I asked him if we could meet earlier in case he turned out to be the typical tosser or quasimodo and therefore I wasn’t wasting a whole friday night.

Friday came and I threw half a dozen dresses on the bed before settling on my new favourite. Hair up and black high heeled boots on, I was off to meet this man. I got to Lucky’s and asked at the door if a very tall guy had turned up on his own. They pointed me in his direction. This was unusual, a guy actually waiting for me to show – I was intrigued. He stood to greet me and yes! A man I can wear sky high heels with and still actually look petite. Now this has never happened before. I sat down and we ordered a bottle of wine and began the dating patter. He seemed a little standoffish and I recall thinking if this doesn’t change I’m off. It was about half way through the first glass of wine that he seemed to visibly relax. From then on the conversation and the wine flowed. We talked and talked! It was so easy. We had some food and I introduced him to my favourite drink – the espresso martini.

He came back to mine where we continued to talk, listen to music and drink. He is very interested in all sorts of music as he is a composer and has travelled and like me lived overseas. All of this was very promising to me. He was also a complete gentleman and did not put the moves on at all (a keeper eh mum?). Eventually we crashed out and then went out for breakfast in the morning after collecting his car from town and detouring to his so he could shower and change. We spent the whole weekend hanging out. He was and is such a calming influence on me.

Monday came and as I left his house a tradie pranged my car and took out the driver’s side quarter panel and I missed a job interview! So much for starting a relationship with a bang! I was a bit sore and sorry for myself on the tuesday and he had tonsillitis so we stayed home. We had known each other four days and had not had a night apart. He had done what I have been famous for – blitzkrieged his way into my life! He even went to the dreaded facebook and changed his relationship status to ‘in a relationship’ without discussion or begging from me. He was ready to tell the whole world about us and he really didn’t care who knew! This is something I have never experienced – a really decisive man!

Within 10 minutes of changing his status he got a call from She Who Must Be Obeyed (SWMBO). I was on the other side of the room and could hear this strident voice haranguing him. Now, this funsters is the main reason I never got involved with men with children i.e. some woman in the background of their lives making demands and thinking they have a say. Unfortunately for me I was a ‘friend’ on fb and I allowed ‘friends of friends’ to read my profile. She had already read about me and the very first thing she said was ‘Well you seem to have yourself a bit of a goer there!’ She had read my page and had read my blog and had thoughtfully passed it around a bit for sundry other people to read. Tips for young players – when you meet someone new, tighten up your social media settings and batten down the hatches. SWMBO was pissed that she had not been consulted prior to Sturm Ritter announcing us to the world.

Anyway, as you can imagine the last four months have rushed by in a blur. I met his parents who have really taken to me as I have healed the rift SWMBO caused within his family which means that after seven years they finally have their son back. I met his kids who seemed to enjoy their time with us. We met various friends. He met my ex sister in law and my nieces and nephew when they visited and we had a day out together. We also visited one of my oldest mates (my brother by another mother – 23 year still going strong!) and my brother and his new family. Also approximately two months after we met, I moved my furniture down from Far North Queensland AND we moved in together! In two weeks time his divorce goes to court and will be absolute in October.

It hasn’t all been smooth sailing. We were both ill for the whole of July and I started a new contract in town. SWMBO refused to do a joint divorce application so Sturm Ritter has had to engage a lawyer. I tried to communicate with her as the children will be in my home and I had such a tough time with my dad and stepmonster but apparently I am irrelevant and should not have any input into how the children are dealt with.

Despite how fast this has all seemed to the outside world, we don’t think so. Except for three days when I had to do a business trip last month we have spent every night together since we met. I never thought I would get involved with a father of young children as I really didn’t want the hassle an ex in that situation brings and I never thought I would meet anyone who I feel so relaxed and at home with.

The relationship I am developing with a man who is not afraid to communicate with me, who does not take me for granted and is considerate towards me in so many ways that I have never experienced before is just such a wonderful surprise to me. I hoped this would happen but didn’t really think I would get to hang up my dance shoes so soon.

And so, I am now on to another stage of my life….Stay tuned for ‘Adventures in Stepmonstering’ (Coming one day when SWMBO facilitates him seeing his children). In the meantime I am enjoying the stability and love that so many people take for granted but to me is more precious than all the money you can earn.

Until sometime soon, stay safe
The Jojogrrl

PS To all you followers and others who have regularly tuned in to read about the trials and tribulations of my quest to find someone who appreciated my slightly skewed worldview, I have to say THANK YOU! It is because of you and the ridiculousness of this blog that I persisted for so long and didn’t take up vows of poverty and become a nun. I hope I have amused you, shocked you, made you think or just made you appreciate the partner you have.

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Torquemada, Houdini and boyfriends of old – How lucky can one girl get?!

Evening funsters,

Here’s another exciting chapter from the fingers of the Jojogrrl.  I will start by discussing Torquemada. I was contacted several months ago online by this guy but he took up another much more inviting offer and thus we never met. Anyway, after I reposted my profile he emailed me asking how I had been.  This was unbeknownst to me the first of many questions.  He rang me after work last tuesday.  We talked for FOUR hours!  He asked me all sort of stuff.  He then requested that I see him on wednesday which I could not as I had other plans which I could not break (shall we say one needs to scratch an itch occasionally lol?) and so we decided to meet for a drink after work on thursday.

Thursday comes and I leave work like the proverbial bat out of hell and rush home to chuck some clothes on before he came by to pick me up.  I wore my jeans and stiletto boots which made me about 2 inches taller than him but I like wearing heels when I can.  We headed into town as his workmates were all drinking in Manuka.  We got to Kremlin whereby we ordered some drinks and sat down to talk. He is instantly on at me about health policy. FFS!  I had just finished my five shifts and I just wanted to wind down and chill out.  He then asks me a raft of all sorts of questions. When I said to him I didn’t know much about him he said what would I like to know?  Well, quite frankly I don’t know what I don’t know. He even asked me if he would make it to the blog AND tells me he facebook stalked me and knows my full name etc.  Note to self, be careful dealing with IT nerds.

We ended up at Kingos for another drink and towards the end he asks me if I have made up my mind. On what?  Well, are we acquaintances, friends, friends with benefits, lovers or in a relationship?  WTF?? I have spoken to this guy about 6 hours in total and he wants to know if I am going to give up my freedom?  I explained to him that I mulitdate and until the mutually exclusive discussion takes place what I do and what he does has no bearing on anything,  He didn’t like this and says he objects to being an ‘also ran’. There is no ‘also ran’ there is just a bunch of guys I am getting to know and they are getting to know me.  Also he has kids, so when he is playing Daddy I think the partner (ie me) is supposed to stay at home watching tv awaiting to fill a slot in his life where he wants it.  Not this little black duck!  I don’t mind if someone has children and I understand that it takes time before you are integrated into that part of their life BUT I will not be treated like a time filler i.e they have a couple of hours free in their otherwise busy lives and need to fill the void until the kids or work or their mates come by.

Anyway, I said to him why don’t we start off being friends?  He didn’t like that.  When I got home and went inside, I had barely had chance to take off said stilettos when he called and asked if I had considered what he said. I said I had not and he said he had enough friends and that the ball is in my court. I have only one answer to this…NEXT!

I then had some amusing correspondence with Houdini.  He was a cute European guy who seemed to have travelled as much as I and after a few emails back and forth we seemed to have a lot in common.  He rang me on friday night just as I was on my way out to go party with my girls to arrange dinner on saturday.  He seemed rather keen.  He texted me the details on saturday and I arrived as usual about 10 mins early.  We went into the restaurant and I ordered a wine. He ordered juice (?).  We then proceeded with dinner and he talked a lot about himself.  We seemed to get along and after the main course I asked him if he wanted to get a drink after dinner. He declined as he had something to do on sunday.  In the course of our conversation I asked him if he actually had room in his life for a relationship. I don’t think he is so sure.  We finished much to my dismay quite early for a saturday night 2130.  I kissed him on the cheek goodnight and we left. He didn’t even offer to walk me to my car.  I sent him a text saying thanks for a lovely evening hope to see you again sometime. There was no reply.  I went online and he has removed his profile. I texted him the next day and said even if he didn’t want to be romantic it was nice meeting him and we could just be friends. No reply to that either. It is like he has been abducted by aliens!

I don’t mind if someone doesn’t like me. We all have our definite opinions on people. I am one of those that you either like or hate on site I suspect. However, what he did was rude and cowardly. It seems to have become the norm with guys. I was speaking to a coworker this week and she said that lots of guys do this because they think it’s kinder and less hurtful. WTF?? I think it’s cowardly and they need to grow some balls! 

So, here’s my week in extremes – either a man who is trying to dissect every thought from my brain and interpret it OR the man who is so scared of me that he runs a mile!  In the past, I would probably have been really upset but as I go in to every meeting to actually meet friends first and see where it goes I don’t mind. In fact, I am relieved as I have not wasted my time and effort on what is obviously a douchebag. They have declared themselves early and saved me a lot of hassle. In fact, this has just reinforced to me the sensibleness of multidating. By hanging out with various people and not putting any pressure on your time with them you are not putting yourself out there to get hurt or taking things further than they need to go with someone as the pressure to make a relationship from potentially nothing is not there.  If, I had been the old me and dropped everything for Torquemada I would probably have found out within a month that he is inflexible and as far as he is concerned its ‘my way or the highway’.  Houdini wants a stepford wife who will wait faithfully for him whilst he is off here, there and everywhere around the globe doing whatever it is he does.  Then when he wants someone to be there you had better be or else!

So, I haven’t lost anything by not having contact with either of these prize asshats!  This weekend I’m going to catch up with some friends and chill the hell out! Might even do some serious writing and a bit of DIY.

A final postscript. After all this excitement I get a call from a boyfriend (aquaintance? shag?) from yesteryear. He takes up most of my sunday night telling me basically that I am the one who got away and that he has thought of me often (well not necessarily me per se but definitely as he puts it so romantically ‘my rack’) What a charmer!  He says that he thinks I would produce gorgeous, intelligent children with him. Hold the bus right fucking there! One, we haven’t seen each other since the 1990s and two I am not going to be producing any children any time soon. As I have said before I have outsourced that so as not to ruin my pelvic floor.  He tells me since I last saw him he has gotten really rich. So what? I cannot be bought. It is almost as if he wants me to say, yeah sure I will come and visit and get knocked up and you can look after me. What about me?  What about my life here?  All non consequential.  Anyway, he says he wants to visit so I call his bluff and say I am free this weekend. He would have to drive a few hours. I told him we would talk later in the week.  Well, I send him a text on monday and he says he’s on call all weekend! I say to him that I have worked shift for a hell of a lot of years and you can swap shifts but that he has run true to form. Another man with no balls!  Too afraid of rejection or too afraid that it will work out to even come and see me for old time’s sake.  He was a coward in the 1990s and still remains so I think.  I live by ‘Carpe Diem’ and ‘Who Dares WIns’.  If you are not prepared to put yourself on the line you don’t deserve the prize AND you can’t bitch when your life sucks!

I want a man who isn’t afraid to put himself out there, who wants to meet someone who will be part of his life and he will be part of theirs. I want someone who has some balls and also has manners and is honest and trustworthy. So, Torquemada, you asked me what I wanted and there it is. Not too much to ask for, I don’t think?

Til next time funsters, stay safe…

The Jojogrrl

 

A feast or a famine!

Evening funstas!

What can I say?  My life is a constant soap opera with me as the leading lady and I suppose I wouldn’t have it any other way! Since my last blog I have been a busy beaver.  Easter weekend began with me popping in to retrieve some belongings from the faker. We had a lovely chat and whilst we still like each other a lot we need to take a step back and get to know each other a little better.  I have always enjoyed his company and hope that if nothing else we will maintain some sort of friendship.  However, the ball is in his court there and no amount of prodding or poking from me will change the situation if ‘he’s just not into me’. 

So after having coffee with him I said goodbye and headed over to Napoleon’s for a pizza and dvd night.  For those that remember, I met Napoleon in February.  We had brunch and his gut told him we wouldn’t be good together but his dick told him he wanted to fuck me. So I basically told him to maybe get both organs to talk to his brain and then get back to me. After the previous weekend where I found that the faker had never removed his profiles from the dating sites I put mine back up and Napoleon was one of the first to contact me.  We texted back and forth and we agreed that we could maybe be friends. I only agreed to the movie night if there were only war movies. I did not want some sucky chick flick and figured an army guy would have a plethora of good warries to watch. When I got to his place I internally pissed myself laughing.  I had him pegged as Napoleon because he had cabinets of regiments of little men because he does war gaming.  Anyway, I had a few drinks as he doesn’t and we did pizza and the dvd. As we are just friends (as far as i am concerned anyway, so if he had other plans they were going nowhere!) I crashed out in my underwear and left in the morning.  We haven’t spoken since and I don’t care one way or the other.

I was pretty tired on saturday and after heading to the shops I decided a snooze in front of the tv was in order. I then received a text and a long, interesting call from Viking.  In the midst of this call I suggested that we may as well have drinks it being a saturday and all.  As he lives relatively close I gave him my address and was promptly ready for him to pick up at 8.  We went up to Polit, which is a funky little bar in Manuka.  There we imbibed espresso martinis and continued our talk. It came to light that we share the same birth date except he was born in the southern hemisphere and me in the northern. Thus he is about half a day older than me.  I have to say, I found him VERY CUTE!  We came back to mine whereby we got into a little more grey goose and he crashed here.  However, nothing too untoward happened.  You may probably be wondering if I am losing my touch.  HA not likely!  He got to see me and cuddle me and then go home and wonder about me.  On sunday he returned to repair my aged laptop and gave me some really good speakers. We watched some dvds and had pizza and drinks and he got to cuddle and kiss me and as he was working in the morning he left before bedtime.  I like him and think he must be an incredibly intelligent, fun, sexy person as he shares my birth date and must be a lot like me lol!  It would be nice to catch up again but I am not chasing anyone to spend time with me.  If he wants to see me he will ask and if not, hey I got some great speakers for my tunes.

Monday afternoon I got to do my sunday sesh at TnG with the lawyer.  He contacted me online and after a bit of chat asked to see me for drinks.  As I didn’t have any pressing plans I thought ‘what the hell?!’.  I turned up and as I was ordering a sav blanc he found me at the bar. He was quite fit looking and I thought, ‘hello!’  We sat and talked law amongst other things and then adjourned to a restaurant to continue our conversation. Things seemed to be going quite well.  After several savs we took a taxi back to his.  I have to admit my halo slipped. I was primed by my time with the Viking if truth be told.  So, I had to go through the ‘got laid parade’ when I got home in the morning as FredAstaire and his staff were already into their workday.  The lawyer and I had agreed to catch up again sometime so I was feeling quite contented.

Throughout the week the VIking and I exchanged texts but no real future plans.  The lawyer sent me a ‘War and Peace’ text explaining that he couldn’t see me because he had already had a couple of dates with someone else and whilst I was a great chick he couldn’t date more than one at a time. Totes whatevs! I asked him why he even bothered to meet me in the first place if this was the case. It was really a moot point anyway and I really didn’t care that much. He is a dick!  He hasn’t even had the ‘exclusivity’ talk with the other chick yet. All I can say is ‘good luck with that mate!’. Anyway, I got what I wanted out of him and am not particularly bothered that there will be no date 2.

With all this going on  I got some mail and texts from the shellback.  Now I use this term as a term of endearment as anyone who has been in the services knows what I am talking about here.  We met for breakfast on thursday and really got on like a house on fire He is my age and is obviously another public servant and like me has been in defence.  We exchanged numbers and I left hoping we would see each other again soon.  He texted me and invited me out for coffee on ANZAC Day.  So we spent several hours together drinking coffee (which progressed to wine) and shooting the shit about all sorts of stuff. We have a lot in common not only being in defence but working in the Middle East and our attitudes to lots of stuff are similar.  End of meeting number 2 not even a handshake or kiss between us! Definitely not the Jojogrrl’s usual behaviour! 

On saturday I was supposed to work but got cancelled so I had a day to fill.  I did some shopping and visited friends then was going home for a nap before heading out to Academy at 2330.  Anyway, he asked me over for a drink and I decided to go but I hedged my bets and dressed to go out.  When I got there we were going to watch a movie but got talking and drinking and then I was a bit too pissed to drive so I ended up crashing there in my underwear and a borrowed tshirt next to him and guess what peeps?  NOTHING HAPPENED!  Whilst I was there the Viking texted to see where I was at but I was busy and to be fair you cannot expect to ask for a date the very night you want it without putting in any ground work first.

I left there and went home feeling very rested and happy. He’s a great guy. I won’t be seeing him for a bit as he is away for a couple of weeks but he texted and said he wanted to catch up on his return.  I hope to hear about his travels over a wine in a few weeks. 

These men that I have met recently are all quite interesting to me.  I like them for a variety of reasons and I like them all for different reasons.  I am nowhere near infatuation or love but there is like.  I could see myself spending time with any of them as they are all great guys.  However, I suppose that whilst I am open to dating them they have to want me. They have to want to be with me and get to know me and to also take the good with the bad. That is a big ask. I know that.  However, actions speak louder than words. So, if I text them and get no reply or I ask them out and get knocked back repeatedly or no reply then I guess all I can take from that is that ‘he’s just not into you’ and I should just move on.

The lessons I have learned the hard way doing this now since about July last year is that –

1.You cannot seem too eager to spend time with someone.

2.You cannot call or text or email unsolicited as a woman as guys think they are being hunted (which to be fair in some cases they are).

3.You cannot go exclusive too soon in the piece. As I put it its like putting all my scrambled eggs in one basket case.

4. Men are quite hypocritical creatures.  Whilst a lot of them are trying to get into your knickers as early on as possible, if you give in they will give you the push.  Basically it comes down to what Groucho Marx said ‘I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.’  They like the idea of getting some and indeed feel quite lucky when they do but will despise you for giving it to them before they have had to embark on a quest through the Andes to pick up a small purple flower in full bloom for you.

5. You cannot care too soon as to whether you seen them or not. If you do, you will potentially try and be too accommodating or nice and then you are not being yourself and they will go off you.

See, the evolution of this worm who has turned.  I am taking in the hard lessons that are being dished out. I am still trying to be me but I think that I am now a little more guarded and a little less trusting.  Is this a bad thing?  I don’t know.  I don’t want to not be me but I don’t want to be left constantly questioning why I can’t seem to meet someone.

Us singles are all in the same boat.  I don’t doubt there are several men out there probably saying the exact same things as I am saying.  However, I am getting stronger. I am not so hurt by the criticism or the gutless way most guys cut comms with you.  I am a great chick and it is them and it’s their issues and ultimately THEY lose ME.  So, dear reader, I can honestly say I have enjoyed my downtime this month and hope to continue it next month with some or all of these guys. However, if it transpires that I don’t get to see them again then my second favourite word will just have to suffice. Altogether now, 1,2,3 NEXT!

Until next time, stay safe

The Jojogrrl

 

The worm has turned…

Tonight’s blogspot is brought to you by the letters FK and U!

So, funsters I am back after my short hiatus.  Oh, dear! Obviously it has hit the skids.  So soon? I must hold some sort of record though to be honest most men get to between weeks 4 and 6 then hit the speed wobbles.  I met the faker just after my birthday and even mentioned him in my last post.  We seemed to be on the same page and seemed to have fun. However, there was one big issue that loomed above our happiness.  Is it a mad ex wife? Is he a fugitive from justice?  Was this an episode of the Crying Game and he was really a woman? None of the above. The difficulty was he had some what should be temporary health problems which meant that our friendship could not progress shall we say.  I did not mind this.  In fact it was refreshing (and occasionally frustrating) to be with a man that did not want to get into my knickers at the earliest possible opportunity and so, I let my guard down.

I started to like him. I missed his company when he wasn’t around. I enjoyed just hanging out and talking to him and doing stuff like movies and drinks and just watching dvds.  This was like being in a normal relationship.  However, as I know in my life all good things get trampled and come to an end and I end up on my own scratching my head wondering what the fuck happened?  It pretty much started after we went out last weekend. He got a text whilst we were out and then hid it from me. I saw it was someone wanting to meet.  He came back to mine but left to Skype his family which I thought was odd. He said he would come back but then didn’t which was very strange as his power had been cut off at his apartment so you would think he would rather sleep next to me and have a hot shower and coffee in the morning.

The next day I sent a couple of texts and called and he didn’t respond. I got a bit of a response on tuesday, nothing wednesday and then a call on thursday which seemed like everything was ok.  We were supposed to see each other on friday but due to the cyclone his plane was delayed and was going to be really late. He said he would let me know when he came in and then we could do breakfast on saturday as I was working.  I didn’t get a text or a call or anything and went to work on saturday afternoon.  He then posts on fb that he only woke up at 230pm and obviously his plans were cancelled for the day. I liked that on fb and did I get an apology or anything?  NO!  I tried to get hold of him – nothing he was not answering his calls.  Seemed very strange to me as he is glued to his phone normally.

On sunday I went to brunch with a friend and had my shift cancelled. I texted him and rang and got no reply.  I then did some digging and found that all along whilst with me he had been on at least two dating sites!  I even sent him a kiss on one of them so he knows I know. So, all the times I can’t get hold of him I assume he was probably with someone else!  I realise that we are not in love but I liked him and began to place trust in him. He is probably the first person I have placed trust with for a very long time.  He was not the usual type of guy that I have dated because my therapist said I should try different types as obviously the type I go for isn’t working. My deduction now is that if my usual type is crap and other types are crap then they all must be crap and I should not expend my emotions on them

I tried contacting him and eventually sent a text asking him if he wanted me to collect my stuff?  I received no reply to anything!  I went to work today and when I got home I found a text from him dumping me!  He couldn’t even do the right thing and talk to me in an honest way.  I am sick to death of cowards dumping me by text!  I have no idea what I did this time around because we have not talked. 

This is another opportunity to learn.  If you burn your hand in the fire, you don’t place your hand there again. I keep getting burned by men because I want to be with someone who wants to be with me.  I have to stop thinking this way.  I have now got to realise that no one wants to be with me and as such I will not get burned because I know from the outset that nothing is forever. Now I have managed to get my head around that I am starting to kill off all hope of ever meeting someone.  This in itself is freeing because I know that all guys want are friends with benefits. So, if I sleep with anyone its because I want sex, not love.  Love exists amongst family and true friends it does not exist in the dating world.  Coming to this conclusion will help me cut across the bullshit that gets sent my way.  The bare facts are all men are looking for an unpaid whore and housekeeper and I don’t want to be either.  As I said to one once ‘fucking and cooking are two Chinese cities I won’t necessarily visit with you!’

I think this worm has finally turned. I think I am going to start dishing out the same behaviour that I receive from men.  Maybe I will answer my messages, maybe I won’t?  Maybe I will date you but shag someone else? Maybe it’s time to not give a fuck to get a fuck? I swear that this time is the last time I will care about anyone else. I am going to be selfish now and do what I want. Whatever makes me feel great and fuck anyone else’s feelings. I am SO ANGRY at being dumped AGAIN by text! This is the last time that is ever happening because I am going to be the one to do it in future. I will cut someone off in an instant if I get one hint of fuckwittery
So, maybe this will be another turning point in the long and winding road that is my life.
Until next time dear readers, stay safe
The Jojogrrl

Cold Turkey!

Morning Groovas!

I have not written for a couple of weeks for a few reasons. I am packing up to move yet again, working far too hard and dah dah  daahhh have left the internet dating sites!  OMFG you did what?  What’s going on?  Have I finally thrown in the towel and bought my crazy cat lady starter kit?  Am I out of my mind?  None of the above.  After the enlightening week of the fwb offers I decided that I really needed to just stop.  I was, in the words of my judgmental friend ‘jaded’.  I had auditioned enough and been on enough dates that were tougher than job interviews and much less engaging then a visit to the gynaecologist to decide that I needed some peace and quiet.

I am currently pursuing employment more to my liking here in the capital and what with writing interminable ‘selection criteria’, planning the novel which could take longer than a child to gestate at this pace and just plain working I really did not want to waste my precious downtime on douchebags.  So, I deleted my profiles and left a couple of messages to some guys I was already talking to and bid farewell.  I actually feel a sense of relief and peace.

This does not mean that I have now settled in to watching SBS foreign film wearing a food stained dressing gown whilst drowning my sorrows in vodka tempting though this is.  Nope, it means I am concentrating on other areas of my life at the moment.  I really want that legal or policy job in the public service. I worked damn hard to get my legal qualifications and want to use them.  I also want to try and write an interesting novel that other people may one day recommend to their friends.  

Isn’t it strange how a change of mindset changes one’s whole perspective?  After having this epiphany I decided that whomever I meet next will just have to like it or lump it.  Admittedly over the past year I have tried to be accommodating to men and their baggage. I have been understanding and willing to make excuses for their bad manners and lack of care or attention. However, as I am much more accepting of my single status and quite frankly don’t care what they think it has given me the freedom to do and say what I like. This doesn’t mean I have completely lost what little social filter I have but it means that I am not looking for any kind of approval or validation for my existence.

It is at this conjecture that I have actually met an interesting prospect.  Now, I am not going to discuss it in any great length here for the following reasons:

1. Whenever I have written anything about anyone that I thought may become positive here, it has been like the ‘kiss of death’ and literally within minutes it has been over;

2. We have only seen each other twice. Albeit it has been fun but this does not mean I am eloping to Gretna Green or Las Vegas anytime soon;

3. Don’t want to actually analyse anything at the moment.  The trouble with me is that I think too hard and don’t always live in the moment and that is something that I am trying to rectify;

4. I know he is reading this as I speak and feel that I need to maintain some mystery (Ha! You didn’t see that coming now did you eh?)

So, I will be taking a little hiatus to sort out some practical and personal details in my life for a couple of weeks or so and then who knows what I will be up to. 

Like sands through an hourglass, so are the days of my life lol!

Until next time, stay safe

The Jojogrrl

 

 

More intelligent.

I have had this comment SO many times its not funny. I think because I am blonde they expect me to be stupid and then they find out the truth and get all intimidated! If any man is intimidated by my intelligence then it’s time to say – NEXT!

thingsmyexsaid

Let me clear up one mystery of the mythology of Woman. When we’re little, around 7 or 8 years old, we discover we fall into a category: we can be pretty, or we can be smart. Sometimes, life chooses for us. Other times, it’s a conscious choice we make that shapes the entirety of our lives. But never, never can a girl be both.

More intelligent than I thought

Oh wait. That’s pure and utter bullshit.

Thanks, guy. I’m glad you came in with low expectations!

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!

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You’re so selfish.

Just another vignette from my life! This interlude occurred last year and needless to say this guy has been deleted. He behaved particularly despicably and I also suspect that he was cheating on a wife or girlfriend. So, coming to a sexual health clinic near you! I hope he gets a nice, big benzylpenicillin shot in the arse for all his troubles.

thingsmyexsaid

In a truly committed relationship, it’s important to be selfless…

YOU'RE SO SELFISH

Wait a minute. What?! How can he expect anyone to actually fall for that? And yet, why do I imagine someone has?

Listen. In a relationship, it’s important to be selfish. It should be a relationship with someone you want. He or she should treat you the way you want. And you should behave like the person you want to be in relationship. And if the person you want to be happens to not be diseased and pregnant, then you know this guy is full of crap.

…What if she replied with, “Actually, I’m protecting you, since I have syphilis.”

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